EXTRACT FOR
The Official Blonde Jokebook
(Rob Loughran)

"The man next to me is jacking off," said 

the blonde to her girlfriend as they sat in the movie theater. 

"Ignore him." 

"I can't," said the blonde. "He's using my hand." 





A blonde is registering to vote. The clerk asks, "When's your birthday?" 

"June fifth." 

"What year?" 

"Every year." 



 

How do we know that God isn't blonde? 

If she were, sperm would taste like chocolate. 



 

What are Vanna White's favorite consonants? 

North and South America. 



 

What do you call two blondes standing on either side of a friend with a broken leg? 

Support hos. 



 

A blonde walking down the street was attacked by two muggers. They roughed her 

up a little, took her watch and purse and told her that she better not go to the cops. 

She said, "You don't have to worry about that. I have another watch and purse; I thought you were after the $6,000 I keep in my shoe." 





A young recently married blonde bride visited the OB/GYN and said, "Doctor, we've been trying to have a baby, but we just can't get pregnant. I don't know what's wrong." 

"Take off your underpants and lie down on that table." 

"I'd love to doctor, but I'd rather have my husband's baby."