It's hard being an intelligent blonde.

I really don't want to complain, don't want to sound like one of those egotistical girls who bitches and whines about all the attention she gets and puts on a 'poor me' attitude. I'm aware of the many advantages of being beautiful. Sometimes I even take advantage of them.

When I walk into a busy big box store, for example, it usually doesn't take long to get help. If I have to lift or carry something, or my car breaks down, some man will usually offer to help. I have no trouble getting dates, even dates with money, who will actually pay for everything.

Of course, they're often the wrong kind of dates, the kind which thinks they're God's gift to women. Ordinary guys are less likely to approach me for a date because they think I'm out of their league, or that I must already have a boyfriend, probably a rich one with a Porsche.

Being tall makes that even worse. There are two pretty universal issues about which guys will be self-conscious, and they both involve size.

I've come to accept that I'm beautiful with a kind of a mental shrug. It's not something I can deny. I have eyes, and God knows people have been telling me I'm beautiful since I was a kid. And like I said, I appreciate the advantages. But there are disadvantages, as well.

High school was a nightmare, let me tell you. Between all the girls who acted like bitches because of my looks (which made me act like a bitch in return) and all the guys eager to get into my pants hardly a day went by without some kind of difficult social situation.

I know it's not always easy asking a girl out, but you know what, it's not always easy being the one asked out either. Some guys, you feel really bad about turning down, because they turn all red, and kind of stammer and slink away and you know you've really screwed their day. Other guys, the arrogant ones, get really pissy and snotty about it.

I've never turned down a guy who just accepted it with good grace. If that ever happens I might instantly change my mind and ask him out!

Life would have been easier if I was a bimbo, took the high school quarterback as my boyfriend, and joined the cheerleading squad (yes, I was invited). But I'm not the jock type, and while I like to keep in shape I'm definitely not the 'rah rah' cheerleader type.

I like chess. Yes, that's right; chess. I even tried to join the chess club in high school. I quit pretty soon after, though. Every guy (and the chess club is almost all guys) wanted to play with me. Every time I walked into the room every guy would be staring at me, undressing me with their eyes, and trying to get to know me better so they could ask me out. And these were pretty nerdy guys, too!

Not that I hate nerds or anything. I get along with them better than I do with jocks, to be honest. But if you asked my preference in men it would be some guy with a strong, athletic body, and a really sharp, intelligent, penetrating mind. The jocks had the first, but not the second. The chess club had the second, but not the first.

And I just wanted to play chess!

Same goes for video games. I played video games once, and I made the mistake of showing up for a real life meeting at a restaurant. It was like, all the guys were starving dogs, and I was a big, meaty bone. Ugh.

That's the difference between nerds and jocks. The jocks think they're God's gift to women and can be arrogant about it. The nerds know they're definitely not God's gift to woman and know hot women aren't interested in them. So when they find one who actually shares their interest in chess or video games they suddenly think they've found the one hot chick who will sleep with them.

And honestly, I just wanted to play the damn game.

I actually seriously considered pretending I was gay, just to get everyone to lay off, but that would have kind of meant I'd have to cut my long hair, which I didn't want to do, and then I'd probably get hit on by lesbians, which I definitely didn't want!

So what did I want? I wanted to write a book. I wanted to write a science fiction book. There's almost never any sex in science fiction books, you know. After high school I went to work as a receptionist in a law firm. Let me tell you, what they say about lawyers - absolutely true.

It was at the law firm that I met the third kind of guy, the predatory type. The jocks swaggered and wanted to hook up. The nerds shrank from approaching me while staring with wide eyes (and filthy minds). The predatory guys were like sharks - or weasels. They'd lie, they'd flatter, they'd approach me like I was something they were hunting, and set traps to catch me.

Not that they wanted me. They wanted to fuck my body, that was all. There's a big difference between someone who wants you and someone who just wants to fuck your body. They didn't care who or what I was. It was just the body that attracted them.

And I'm talking about guys in their thirties and forties! And it didn't seem to make any difference to them I was only eighteen. In fact, I think they figured that gave them an edge because I'd be more naïve about their little games.

Trust me, I'm not naïve. I saw through them easily enough. It was still uncomfortable having to find excuses for why I wouldn't go to lunch or accept some extra paying job to look after their kids, or run other errands for them.

And I had to kind of move quick a few times to slide away from hands which tried to slide across my butt, or guys kind of pressing into me from behind. It was almost worse than high school! Mind you, the worse was some lesbian woman who another girl warned me liked to 'hunt hets'. She liked to seduce heterosexual girls and be their first lesbian experience.