I'm on site, at a military base, working on a project, for Aardvark Scientific Applications, the company for which I work.

What I do is what they call real-time programming. I work on projects that use computer software to control or track processes that happen in the real world, at rates that require a computer to operate within the required time. The job is tough enough by itself and is made worse by the computers that the military uses which are often special units, ruggedized for the extreme environments in which they need to operate. The documentation that supposedly describes the military computers should be listed under fiction. Thus, a real-time programmer frequently has to discover how things really work, instead of how the documents describe that they work, before he can do what's needed to do his job.

I'm working away, when the tech officer for the military base wanders by.

The tech officer asks, "Working by yourself again?"

"Yes sir. The rest of the crew is back at ASA headquarter, soaking up the ambiance of deep pile carpet, free coffee and large plaques, bearing the ASA logo."

The tech officer says, "Well, we got linoleum floors, unpainted concrete walls and you can only get coffee if you join a coffee mess and pay the weekly fee."

"I don't drink coffee and my job is here, not back at ASA headquarters."

The tech officer asks, "Are you doing any good?"

"I think that I have discovered why the computer wasn't talking to the disc drive. I can get the two to talk a little bit, I just need to refine the software interface a little more and we should be good to go."

The tech officer says, "The documentation didn't describe the interface?"

"I don't think so. Could you tell me what language the documentation is written in?"

The tech officer chuckles and says, "Obfuscation, as usual. It would be really nice if ASA had more than just the one guy working on the problems." He then shakes his head in denial and wanders off.

I continue to work on the computer to disc drive communications problem. Finally, I think that I have things working, but I need to do a bit of testing, to make sure.

One of the enlisted military guys comes into the lab and says, "Phone call for you, in the lobby, Mr. Jason Elder."

"Thanks, I'll get it." (Just what I need, a phone call when I'm trying to work. Somebody probably wants to know what time it is.) I get up and walk out to the lobby.

It's Les, my Department Manager on the phone and he's not happy. "It damn well took you long enough to get to the phone."

"The lab where I'm working is a government classified area, so they don't have phones in there. I have to come out to the lobby to answer the phone. It takes a little bit of time."

"You're to come back to headquarters, right now."

"First I have to shut down the equipment and gather things up. However, I'm on my way." (It's five minutes to noon. (The Department Manager never takes less than an hour and a half for lunch. The Department Manager wants me to hurry back to ASA headquarters, missing lunch, and then sit there and wait for the big man to return from his lunch. That happens only in his dreams.)

I go back to the computer lab and properly power down the equipment. I then take the program listings and the load tapes back to the military Software Librarian. I turn the classified stuff in. (I don't have a write up for my latest fix, but that's gonna have to wait for my top priority meeting with Les.)

I leave the base and drive down to Super Chicken. I purchase a three piece combo, with coleslaw and a biscuit on the side. I also get some milk to wash it down. I eat my lunch, taking my damn time about it.

I then drive to ASA headquarters and walk in at just about 13:00 hours (1PM for you non-military types.) I observe that the Department Manager and his Secretary are both gone. I leave a note on the Secretary's desk. I then walk back to my own desk.

Billy walks by and sneers, "Out at the military base coding again?"

"If it's any of your business, I'm trying to prototype a driver for the disc drive. The software necessary to talk back and forth with the disc drive bears no resemblance to the supposed example provided in the manual."

Billy sneers, "Don't give me any of that crap, loser. You were coding, before we have finished the design. This time, your lame excuses aint gonna work."

(I resist the urge to give Billy some free dental work. I realize that Billy's last words indicate that the Department Manager's call might well have been for the purpose of laying me off. I do begin to worry. I must have a paycheck, to pay my bills.)

Dana then wanders by. (Dana is a double plus good politician, but the next time that she does some useful work will be the first time.) Dana tells me, "While you waste time, out at the military base, I'm generating useful reports. We'll see whose job lasts longer."

"If I may politely point out, my last report, based upon actual experience at the military base, tended to contradict some of the conclusions that were written here at ASA, based on information in the manuals."

Dana snaps, "I don't happen to agree with the opinions presented in your report. It might be that what you thought you saw wasn't actually what happened."

"Dana, I wasn't the only one to observe the results of my testing, There were a couple of military observers who saw the same things. You might want to talk to some of the military people, out at the base."

"I don't need to talk to those bird brains. I have read the official manuals and I know the true state of things. I'll be here, getting paid, long after you're gone. It's something that you just might think about." With that, Dana is off to somewhere.

(I have now received two nasty, direct references to the end of my job. The way that things work at ASA, I have very probably lost my job. However, there's nothing that I can do about it, until the Department Manager calls me in.)

I then start to generate a report about my latest battle with the disc drive.

Timmy then walks by, "I just wanted to say goodbye, ass hole. It hasn't been a pleasure working with you and I, for one, will be happy to see you go. You're no damn good as a programmer and no one that I ever want to work with again." With that Timmy walks off, flipping me the bird as he goes.

(There's no question now that I'm gone. I try to figure out why. I'm the only one that works out at the military base, on a regular basis. I have generated several design level documents, based upon my prototyping of the system that ASA is supposed to work on. When the politicians tried to tell the customer that my reports were wrong, the customer unloaded on the politicians. I managed to keep my cool and never once criticized the reports of the politicians. Of course, my reports, backed by solid evidence, did contradict what the politicians wrote, based upon the manuals. If ASA tries to build something based upon the reports written by the politicians, disaster follows. Ah well, I can but wait for the ax to fall."

Eddie then walks by my desk. Eddie stops and looks at me. He says, "You know, Jason, you're pathetic. We're well rid of you and don't even think about trying to come back. Everything that you have done is wrong and a total waste of time. Why they ever hired you is a mystery to me." On that note, Eddie walks away.

Johnny is the next of the insult boys, "Well, if it isn't military base boy. You know, the rest of us work together, as a team. You think that you can run out to the military base and do things by yourself. Well, you can't. Not any longer. The rest of us will make much better progress without your lone ranger fumbling. You know, the rest of us are San Diego people, you didn't go to school here. Did you even go to school? We don't need your kind here." With that little lecture delivered, Johnny struts off, probably to join the rest of the lynch mob.

Betty, from personnel, is the next insulter. She doesn't say anything, at first. She just examines the area around my desk and then says, "Oh, I was just wondering what it would look like if there were someone useful sitting here, instead of you."

Andy, the big hardware tech is next in the procession. Andy stops and sneers at me, "I oughta kick your ass. You don't know nothin' and you waste my time, when I work on hardware. I'm lucky that you're the only one who's a complete waste of time. Good riddance to bad rubbish." Andy then waits to see if I might say something that would give him an excuse to start a fight. He waits in vain for my reply and then he walks away."

Norm stops by and says, "I guess that they gotcha."

"Yeah, I figured that from the insult parade. Gonna be a lot of work for just you and Ray."

Norm says, "Yeah, we talked about that. You got any leads?"

"I haven't been looking. If I find something, I'll let you know, if I can find you."

Norm looks around, sees nobody near, and then lays a piece of paper on my desk, "Name, address, phone number and Internet mail."

"Thanks, I'll keep in touch."

Norm walks away.