1

 

 

 

Damn, I thought, that's why I will never hook up with a hood rat, can't trust them as far as you could see them. I went back up stairs and I noticed my neighbor sitting on the top step.

 

"Hi neighbor, how you doing today," I said.

You could tell this chick was so uptight that her drawers squeaked when she walked. She had her knees closed tightly and her hand had her skirt pushed tightly between her legs. Damn, I thought, here I go again.

"Are you okay," I asked as I passed her. "You seem like... I don't know... is there something I could do for you?"

 

She kept pushing her skirt deeper and deeper between her legs and looked up at me uncomfortably. "I... I'm just waiting for Miss Vann to... to get home so she can let me in my apartment," she said timidly.

"Wow! How did you get locked out? You need a key to lock your door," I said.

"I... I... left my... my purse at work," she replied.

"That sucks, well if you need to use the phone or anything just holla, I'm right next door."

 

I went into my apartment but just as I was about to lock the door there was a knock. I opened the door and the woman was standing there looking like she wished to God that she could be anywhere else.

"Listen, I ... I was... could I use your bathroom, I've been sitting out here for almost an hour and a half."

I stood aside "Sure, right down there... you know where it is, our apartment are a mirror image."

 

She went down the hall and into the bathroom. Damn, I thought, there have been three women in my apartment today and the first thing all of them had to do was piss. I went into the living room and sat on the couch after closing my bedroom door, my weed was still on the bed. She came out after flushing and drying her hands.

 

"Would you like something to drink? I have beer and Doctor Pepper.

She looked undecided for a second then stammered, "I... I better.. I don't want to intrude... you might have something to do. I'd better just wait on the stairs until I hear Miss Vann."

I waved her off, "Nonsense, you can leave a note on her door and she'll call when she gets in, believe me she has my number."

She thought about it for a minute then said, "You have something to write with? It was getting uncomfortable sitting on those steps."

I brought her pen and paper and said, as she began writing the note, "I bet you're going to hate turning loose that fifty bucks aren't you?"

She stopped writing and looked up at me. "Fifty dollars, for what, all I want her to do is let me in my apartment."

I shook my head and said, "And for doing just that she's going to hit you with a twenty five dollar charge, then you will have to get a new key so she'll hit you with another twenty five dollar charge."

She looked like she was getting mad and said, "But I have my key at work, I don't need another one."

I put out both my hands in case she wanted to hit something, "Hey you're right but how are you going to lock your door when you leave, with all these crack heads around here you won't have a thing left when you get back leaving it unlocked. If you call her back to lock it again she's going to hit you with another twenty five dollar charge and God forbid if you needed a lock change, you may have to take out a loan for that."

She slammed the pen down saying, "That's not right.... it's .... it's not fair."

I shook my head and said, "You're right but it's right in the rental agreement you signed when you moved in, sorry."

She put her head in her hand and said, "Oh no, I'm barely making ends meet now, I don't have fifty dollars to spare."

"Do you have family here? Maybe you could stay over a family member or a friend's house," I said.

She shook her head and said, "No all my people are in Iowa City up north, I only been here for just over two month; gosh darn what am I to do?"

I looked at her, "Gosh darn," really is she for real, "Oh gosh darn Andy little Opie done fell in the creek." Oooookay enough with that I couldn't let miss Mayberry sleep in the hallway. The last time I did this shit it got complicated with Cynthia but it wasn't like she didn't have a place to go so I said," Hey I have a blow up mattress you can crash in the living room until morning then go to work get your keys and all will be right with the world." She sat silently so I added "It's either that, fifty bucks or sleeping in the hallway, it sounds like the lesser of three evils is the blow up mattress."

She still said nothing then she got up and said, "I thank you but I can't spend the night with a man I just met, I mean it wouldn't be right." I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay I offered."

 

I walked her to the door and she stood back for a second so I closed it and went to my hall closet and pulled out the mattress. It was an automatic so I plugged it in and it began inflating.

 

"The good news is that it's as comfortable as all get out, the bad news is that it has a slow leak and you might have to add air sometime tonight." I got her sheets and a pillow case and stuffed an extra blanket in it. Then I gave her the guest blanket to cover with and said, "I'll make you a privacy wall too," and got the kitchen chairs and lined them up in front of the bed and put a sheet over them.

"Okay this is as good as it gets, see you in the morning? What time do you have to be at work?"

She stood by the door still unmoving but said, "I leave here at seven."

"Cool" I said, "Then we leave at around the same time, see you in the morning, feel free to freshen up in the bathroom, I have some TV dinners in the freezer because I know you haven't eaten and... well like I said, I'll see you in the morning."