Larry was so bored he felt like screaming. He had volunteered to spend a week house-sitting to help out an old friend but he never thought the place was this dull. And now, three days into his week, he was convinced he was showing signs of cabin fever.

In the summer the place was run as a very small hotel but now, in December, it was closed and empty, very empty. It did not help his mood that the cable TV service was cancelled since the end of the tourist season. It looked like he was going to have to rely on the pile of DVD box sets he'd save for this kind of down time - oh, and a couple of his favourite porn DVDs for the long nights. He decided tonight was one of those nights.

He picked out a compilation DVD of threesome sex with pairs of twins and sister in the main roles and took it into the small bar where the only DVD player was located. He slipped in the disc and went behind the bar to pour himself a pint from the one pump he had insisted remain on - he liked to call it his 'minimum wage'.

With a full pint on the table in front of him and the remote at the ready he slacked off the belt of his jeans and loosened his boxers in readiness. He flicked on the DVD and took his first sip of beer as the machine kicked into operation.

Just as he pushed a comforting hand down into his crotch a tiny movement out of the side of his eye grabbed his attention. He turned quickly. He nearly jumped out of his skin when spotted a face at the bar window. Someone was trying to see in.

As he struggled to reorganise his clothing he shouted,

"We're closed for the winter."

The head came even closer to the glass, hands cupped around the face to see more clearly. 'Fuck', he thought, 'it's a female.'

Before he could think of what to say the woman came to the door and knocked.

"Women, they never take no for a fucking answer. They're all the same", he mumbled as he ran to turn off the TV.

He checked his jeans and belt before opening the door and as he formed angry words of rebuke they died in his throat. The woman standing before him was a stunner; tall, jet black hair, strong face and wearing a full length leather coat. She just walked in past him straight to the centre of the room.

"Sorry, I'm meeting a friend here in a few minutes and I couldn't stay out in that cold. I seriously need to get warmed up. Do you sell coffee? Actually make that an Irish Coffee."

Before Larry could respond she turned and walked to the bar. Only then did he notice she was carrying a small suitcase. 'This might be a laugh', he thought. He adopted the attitude of a barman.

"I think we have the ingredients for such a drink. Take a seat, anywhere you like. We're not expecting many in tonight."

"I'll sit at the bar, if that's OK."

"Sure, get comfortable. Isn't that what bars are for?" Larry almost chuckled at his own comment. He imagined how she'd react to finding out the place was closed and she had more or less crashed his home.

He put on the kettle and found some whiskey and cream.

"Did you say you are expecting company? Is it your boyfriend? Husband?"

"My my, Mr Barman, but you don't hang around, do you?"

Her comment wrong-footed him.

"No, God, sorry. I'm not coming on to you. I was just making conversation. I'm kinda new at this bar work thing."

"Lighten up, fella, I'm just playing with you." Her giggle was infectious.

"It's actually a very odd story. Wanna hear it?" she teased.

"Sure. I like complex situations."

"Be careful what you wish for, Mr Barman. Anyway, what's happening is I'm going to a fancy dress party later. It's at an old school-friend's place. You know the kind of woman, the kind who has it all and loves to let all her chums know that we don't?"

"Everyone has at least one friend like that."

She continued, "Well, Malissa has got it all. And please note it's Malissa with an 'a' - she doesn't even want her name to be the same as other people's. Thing is, she only got what she has on her back, so to speak. Married into it, if you see what I mean. Well, actually, screwed her way into it first, then married him to copper-fasten it."

Larry was surprised at the directness.

"He husband is a real dish, worships her and is worth a ton of money. They love putting on these themed parties, like the one I'm going to later, and always manage to be the most imaginative, creative couple there. Well, not tonight."

"Sounds like you're a woman with a plan."

"This is going to make me sound like the saddest individual you have even encountered across a counter but, do you know what I've done?"

"A good barman is always a good listener."

"The friend I'm meeting here later? Well, he's not really a friend. God, this is so embarrassing. I actually hired a guy, an actor, to play my partner. He's going to give them such a show they'll never forget it."

Larry was impressed by her ingenuity. He handed her the drink.

"What have you planned?"

"First off he's going to be totally devoted to me. He'll have me so high on a pedestal it will turn her green with envy. Then, he'll be so good at acting out whatever theme they have planned we will easily be the winners of the games."

"What kind of games?"

"Oh, you know, more like fancy dress things really, but as couples. King and queen cop and thief, doctor and nurse, master and slave, all that kinda stuff."

"So, that's what the case is for?"

"Yeah, I have a few outfits for both of us. I'm just hoping they fit my rented boyfriend." Again her giggle gave him a little buzz.

"Good luck with the whole thing. Sounds like you've thought it through."

"It means a lot to me. Just for once I want to come out ahead of the smug witch. Cheers." She raised her glass in an exaggerated toast, "to my dear friend Malissa". This time she laughed out loud and Larry though it was even more attractive than the giggle.

After a big slug of her drink she offered her hand, "By the way, I'm Maggie. Thanks for listening and not judging." He took her hand.

"Larry. And I never judge other people's lives."

"I can see that. You have kind eyes, considerate eyes. I think I might have another drink."

Larry did his best to suppress a grin that might betray the direction his mind was heading in. 'This', he thought, 'could become a night to remember.' He had never been more correct in his life.