A Further Education

By Klayton Frost

Copyright 2012 Klayton Frost

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My mind was made up: I wanted to be punished. I wanted to be marched up in front of the whole university and caned like a schoolgirl. Even the thought of it sent shivers down my spine--shivers that were half fear and half excitement. I felt as though I had something glowing inside of me, an ember that smouldered away at all hours of the day and night. I could think of nothing else.

However, my mission to get myself in trouble turned out to be harder than I at first thought. I'd always been a good girl and rule-breaking didn't come easily to me. I started small: running in the corridor, throwing little balls of paper during lectures, yawning loudly when the tutor was speaking. But the most I managed was to get sent out of class one rainy day after a week of minor mischief.

The trouble was, I was just too nervous. As much as part of me wanted to feel the sting of the cane, part of me desperately didn't. And I was just so used to being good and obeying all the rules that there was little contest between them.

If I was going to succeed, I decided, I would have to do something big. And I'd have to plan it out beforehand. And it would have to be something easy, something that I could definitely follow through with. It didn't take much thought to come up with the idea. I would do exactly the thing that Cherry and Elisia had been punished for. I would leave the grounds without permission, get drunk at a pub in the nearby village and then return to St Martinas and make sure I was caught as I snuck back in.

The next weekend I woke with my heart in my mouth. The plan that had seemed so simple and so easy a few days ago now loomed large in my mind. Was I really going to do this? Was I actually going to willingly subject myself to the punishment that had made Cherry and Elisia scream and cry and beg for mercy? But then as I thought back to the day when I watched that punishment, I felt the familiar ember of excitement flare to life in my stomach, and I knew it was what I wanted.

I had breakfast as normal, and then slipped away from my friends at the first opportunity. I fetched my handbag from my room and ran down to reception. Normally, whenever we leave school grounds we must sign out in the big book outside the front office, but today I simply walked straight past and out the door. I felt a little tingling in the soles of my feet: quite against my usual nature, I was breaking the rules, and it was strangely thrilling.

It's not a long walk into town, perhaps ten minutes down a big hill. To make it a sure thing that I'd be caught when I returned I'd decided that I would have to stay out past dinnertime before returning to the campus. That gave me several long hours to kill in the village before I had to go back. I started by getting a cup of coffee and doing a little bit of reading in the sunshine outside a tiny cafe. Then I wandered off to a local bookstore and spent a while browsing the shelves.

It was a pleasant enough way to spend an afternoon, but every so often I would remember exactly what I was doing here, and exactly what was going to happen to me when I returned and my stomach would swoop unpleasantly. It wasn't too late to turn back now, I thought. I could probably sneak back into school grounds without anyone noticing and go on as normal. But just like before, along with the nerves there was a sliver of longing and excitement. No, there was no turning back now.

At four o' clock I headed down to the pub. I was not a big drinker, and I knew that it wouldn't take much to get me tipsy. It had occured to me that I could simply act drunk, rather than doing it for real, but I knew I wasn't that good an actor. I ordered a cider and a vodka and coke and went to sit at a quiet table in the corner. The pub was a pleasant enough place with a low ceiling and the constant scent of wood polish. I liked it there.

I polished off my drinks and ordered some more. Already I was feeling the effect. By the time six o' clock rolled around I was comfortably dizzy, and my nerves had all but dissolved in the alcohol. Despite my best efforts to keep my mind from straying I found myself shutting my eyes and thinking back to the assembly hall that day when Cherry and Elisia had been punished. I pictured myself up on stage instead of them, and felt a shiver run through me like a spark of electricity.

Time to go, I decided. I got unsteadily to my feet, collected my things and left the pub. The sky was beginning to get dark. Back at the school everyone would be sitting down for dinner, my friends probably wondering where I'd got to. I smiled to myself. If only they knew the truth.

The walk back up the hill took far longer than the walk down. I kept stumbling, dropping my handbag and stopping to rest. Quite frequently I found myself breaking out into giggles, overwhelmed by the sheer naughtiness and daring of what I was doing.

The giggling stopped when I got to within sight of the school. Suddenly everything seemed a lot more real, a lot more imminent. I began to wish I hadn't drunk quite so much. Still, there was no going back now. I marched up to the front gate and found it locked. I pressed the buzzer and waited, leaning against the metal rails.

It was a few minutes before a teacher came out to fetch me. It was Mr Harris, an English lecturer I recognised. When he saw me his eyes widened in surprise.

"Jane?" he said disbelievingly. "But I was just looking at the book. You're not signed out, are you?"

I shook my head. "Guess I must have forgot," I said, and was pleased to hear my voice had a slight slur to it. It was working perfectly. I would come across as the drunk girl keen to cover up her misdeed.

"Are you... have you been drinking?" said Mr Harris, his eyebrows rising still further.

I shook my head, the picture of poorly-disguised guilt. "No Sir, I don't drink."

Mr Harris considered me for a moment more, then his face hardened. He opened the gate and beckoned me through, and together we walked up to the school. I made sure to stumble a couple of times on the way up the path, just to remove any last trace of doubt.

He escorted me all the way to the main office, where I waited for a couple of minutes on the sofa by the door while Mr Harris went off to fetch someone. When he returned Anderson was with him, and the sight of the teacher in charge of discipline sent a delicious thrill through my belly. Was it going to happen now, I wondered. Right now? Was my fantasy about to come true. It almost seemed to much. I could feel myself growing wet at the thought of it.

"Come with me," said Anderson. Meekly I stood and followed him to his office. Visions of leather straps and the cruel thin cane flashed through my mind, making me feel almost weak with desire, with fear, with arousal, with shame. The good girl that I was, I'd never seen Anderson's office before. I'd been expecting something frightening, perhaps with a rack of whips mounted on the wall. In reality it was merely an ordinary office, just like those that belonged to any of the other lecturers at St Martinas.

I sat in the chair in front of the desk, practically squirming with excitement now. I longed to touch myself, longed to feel the sting of the cane for the first ever time, to know what it was truly like to be punished. I was scared, of course, but the fear only made it that much better, that much more intense. Anderson sat opposite me and steepled his fingers. I waited for his judgement.

"Jane," he said at last. "You've got a good record. One of the best in fact. If I'm not mistaken this is, in fact, the first offence of any kind you've committed, correct?"

I nodded. "Yes, Sir."

Anderson considered me thoughtfully. "You know the normal punishment for this would be the cane? You understand me?"

"Yes Sir," I said again. Doubt was creeping in now. What did he mean 'the normal punishment'? Was he going to discipline me in some different way? What if he simply gave me a detention? Or lines? All of my effort would have been for nothing.

"I understand you're on a scholarship at this University."

"That's right," I said. "I am."

"Good. Well, in that case I'm going to give you a warning tonight." He leaned forward across the desk. "You're a good student, Jane. We all make mistakes, and if this turns out to be a one off you'll hear no more about it. If, on the other hand, you put so much as a foot wrong again you'll be out. You understand? Straight away, no questions asked, I'll pack you off home."

I nodded. "I understand." Inside of me I could feel the hot dark excitement dying out into disappointment and shame. Of course, I should have known it wouldn't be that easy to get what I wanted. I watched Anderson fill out my warning slip and file it away. There was no way now that I would ever be caned. If I broke any more rules he would simply send me home and that would be the end of it. It was so unfair.

In that moment I made a decision. If I wasn't drunk there was no way I would have said it. "Please Sir," I murmured. "I want to be caned."

Anderson stopped where he was and looked at me with piercing eyes. "Say that again," he said.

For a moment I wavered, but there was no going back now. "I want to be caned," I repeated, louder and more confident this time.

For a second or two Anderson simply stood there, then he gave a small laugh and sat down at the desk once more. He considered me for a long minute, and I felt every second of his gaze. I withered under it. When he did finally speak his voice was brisk and business-like. "Come back to my office at this time tomorrow night. You are dismissed for now."

I needed no further encouragement. I scurried from the office and up to my dormitory, where all the other girls were thankfully asleep. I crawled into bed, and slept.

The next day all I could think about was the coming evening. It weighed on my mind like a blanket of lead. What was going to happen? Had I made things worse for myself? Had I persuaded Anderson to punish me? Or was I going to be thrown out of the University? It seemed so cruel that I would have to wait until the evening to find out, but wait I did, passing the time fretfully in the common room. Several times Nancy asked me what the matter was, but I just shrugged and told her I was tired.

"Where were you last night?" she asked. "You weren't around at lights out."

"I was helping Mr Harris with some filing," I lied quickly, having already thought up the excuse that morning.

Slowly, hour by hour, the day crept by. At long last seven o' clock arrived and--suffused with nervousness--I made my way down to Anderson's office. I was careful to wait until the corridor was empty before I knocked on the door; the last thing I wanted was for one of my friends to see me down here. Questions were bound to be asked.

"Enter," called Anderson's voice from within. I opened the door and slipped inside. When I saw what was waiting for me I could barely suppress a gasp.

There, in the middle of the office, was the bench. It had been moved from the hall, and now stood in front of Anderson's desk. I had never been so close to it before. I could smell the leather. My wrists and ankles tingled as though they knew already what was coming. Excitement surged through me, along with a cool, prickly dread. It was happening now. It was definitely happening. No way to escape.

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End Of Extract

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