"Listen to me Jessica." he shakes my hands to alertness.

"What!" I'm kind of annoyed now.

"Before we do anything, there's something I have to tell you."

"You have a small dick?" I venture, blushing when I realize what I just blurted out.

"No, I mean it's totally alright if you... y'know... this isn't helping is it?" I continue, feeling my cheeks burning up by the second.

He chortles in laughter at my floundering ways, making me even more embarrassed.

"Ha, it's not that I feel physically insecure or anything. Just listen." his tone suddenly turns serious, a far cry from his jovial, sexy demeanor earlier.

I tingle in anticipation as he leans in to whisper to me, relishing in feeling his breath on my ear.

"I'm actually a vampire." he says at last in all seriousness.

I guess I'm pretty drunk after all. Did he just say he was a vampire? As in, those blood sucking things that live forever?

"Yeah, right. And I'm a fairy!" I snort, flailing my arms about pretending their wings. Alright, I admit that I'm drunk and hearing things... because I'm drunk.

"Jessica, I'm serious. I'm a real vampire." he looks at me, his eyes pleading for me to believe him.

Maybe he has his own baggage. No big deal, I've been trying to undress his sexy, toned body with my eyes the whole night. If that's what it takes to get him to start fulfilling my desires then so be it.

"Alright, you're a vampire," I repeat after him so that he'll finally shut up, "Can you kiss me now?"