Joe Smith never wanted to take a job dealing with the elderly. He even remembered thinking that they all just needed to be put in a home once they reached sixty. The idea of caring for them was the most foreign thing to him. Changing diapers and sponge baths could have been a nightmare, if he really thought about it. There was not enough money in the world that would make him give an old person a sponge bath.

 

Looking back, Joe realized that his high school self was not much of anything. His grades were decent and the only way into college was a loan, and the idea of being straddled with a lifelong loan burden was not something he wanted. With his mother living far away, and a father that passed away years ago, the options for something else seemed dim. The only thing he could focus on was paying the few bills he had, and keeping his girlfriend.

 

Laura was not high maintenance, but she did want a nice place and nice clothes like any girl would want. Joe was all about giving her what she wanted and what he could afford. She went into sales right after school; she quickly made more money than he did. Joe knew he quickly fell into the role of being the substandard boyfriend who lived off his girlfriend. She made three times the amount of money he did, and working for an auto parts place as a deliveryman was not that glamorous.

 

Joe knew things were getting rocky when she kept bringing up how he needed to get a better job, and that she wanted to move to a bigger place. He never brought up marriage, but also knew she was thinking about it. The idea of marrying Laura was something he wanted down the road, but as 'down the road' was coming closer, it seemed like a bad idea. He felt that he was doing it to keep her, and not because he overly loved her.

 

With her constant nagging and pestering about getting a new job weighing on the relationship; and he knew it was only time before she left him. He loved her, but not in a way that made him go crazy. To him, it was a comfortable love and not something he could live without. But, he also knew it was slipping away, as she wanted things that he just could not afford or attain, at his present position in life.

 

Delivering auto parts was an easy task, and the money was just enough to help pay the bills and nothing more. He drove his Honda to drop off parts to repair shops and felt like the pizza delivery guy that dropped off car parts instead of pizzas. The wear and tear on his car was showing and he dreaded repairing it, as it would cost money he didn't have. No longer was it an old, reliable Honda; it became the old-beat-up Honda that sputtered and blew blue smoke. He knew he needed a new car, felt like life was in a rut, and he was only twenty-three.

 

Joe never thought about an employment agency, because he already had a job. To him, it was a place desperate people go to look for a job. It started with a flyer on his windshield, and then another flyer in the mailbox. Then the phone calls and messages, and followed, finally, by a man knocking on the door. He felt the anger towards Laura, knowing that she put this man up to it, and that she was the reason for all of the flyers and phone calls about getting another job through this agency.

It was a weird conversation when someone comes to your door trying to get you to take a job, but Joe finally gave in and listened. He figured a stern, "No, and leave me alone," after his pitch would end it, right there and then.

 

The man who was in his mid-forties had a convincing pitch, though. "How much money do you want to make?" Joe quickly thought about it being a scam. It had to be a scam, as no company would just offer money. Joe listened and then finally said he wanted twenty dollars more than his already twelve dollars an hour wage. Thinking no way any company would pay thirty two dollars an hour to a person with no qualifications, and if they did; it had to be a scam or dealing drugs.

 

Joe looked with a smile, knowing he knew that the offer was a scam. He was not inclined to break the law, so whatever job it was, it was not going to happen. When the man replied with his hand out to make a deal, Joe finally broke down and asked about the job. And listening to a job taking care of an old man came to light. It still sounded weird and too good to be true, but the man just pulled out an envelope, and handed it to him. "Cash the check and you will know the job is real."

 

When the check cleared, Joe took off the next day to go to the man's office and find out about the fine details about this job. It was also Friday and he figured he would listen to the scam job, but still had hopes that it might be real, since the check did clear. It was still a great waste of a day as he could then go home and play video games and not have to worry about his girlfriend complaining, since he had the excuse he went for another job interview.

 

The office was a law firm and not an elderly care facility. He now wondered if Laura was even behind this. The man was actually a lawyer looking for someone to care for one of his clients. That was all he had to do, was to drive him around and make sure he did not get into trouble. Between the firm being a real law firm and the pay, Joe finally thought it was a real offer. It was not like he had to change diapers or give sponge baths for the old man; just to drive him around, and make sure he did not fall and break his hip.

 

Joe asked why they chose him a few times, and Mr. Simms, the lawyer, said that they needed a driver who knew the area and someone that could keep up with him. That a younger man, and not a woman, was needed, and he was the only young driver that did not have a record. And that the client selected him from the pictures Mr. Simms had provided.

 

Joe signed the document and filled out the paperwork on the spot, and even did blood work to check his medical information. At thirty-two dollars an hour, Joe knew it was a life changer and submitting to a blood and hair test was worth it. He still felt that he was being set up by Laura, and when she denied doing it, he figured she did not want a fight and was lying about it.

 

He decided to celebrate with Laura, and knew she would finally stop complaining and the fights would end, too. He had money to get her things, and money to replace the broken things in his life. It was still an hourly job, and he even started to wonder if there was overtime involved.

 

With the address to his client's house, he knew he was going to take care of a Mr. John Preston. He had no idea who he was, but he lived a county over and in the ultra-wealthy part of the county. Joe passed mansion after mansion, looking like the oddball in the town with his beat-up, blue Honda that blew enough smoke it looked like a moving firestorm.

 

Knocking on the door, he was greeted not by a butler, but by an elderly woman. She looked about seventy and had a small, petite body. She had grey hair, but was well kept and looked like she would have been quite beautiful back in the day. With her big smile and almost genuinely nice attitude, she showed him inside.

 

Joe was taken aback by the sheer size of the house, and was blown away at the decor of the indie. Outside, it looked like the largest mansion in the area, and on the inside it looked like a museum with display pieces everywhere. Everything about the house gave off the impression of old money. He thought this was a man who was born into money and probably gained more during his life.

 

It was a three-story house and Joe got a walkthrough of the entire ground level, before he was shown to the study, told to take a seat, and that Mr. Preston was on his way. Joe sat and was handed tea like the lady was a servant, even though he thought she gave off a wife vibe; although she never introduced herself as his wife or anything else, so he assumed it was his wife.

 

While the lady introduced herself as Madeleine, she had an upbeat feel about her and was very accommodating, while he waited. It was only ten minutes before an elderly man walked in and caught Joe's attention.

 

The man looked ancient and yet he was still walking. At first guess, he thought he had to be over a hundred. His face looked sunken in and his hair was thinning, with his liver spots showing. His arms looked weak and he was severely hunched over, and yet he walked in and took a seat with his attention looking right at Joe.

 

Madeleine offered him tea and once Mr. Preston took a seat, she then looked at Mr. Preston with a smile, saying she would bring him out his whiskey. Joe looked a bit shocked that the old man would drink and then figured, he was old and going to die, so why not enjoy the rest of his life. She then offered himself some and he declined, knowing he most likely had to drive.

 

Joe introduced himself, and then Mr. Preston began with a barrage of questions. It was mostly about the choices he made in his life and his family. Joe did not expect to be answering personal and family questions, but he knew it was a paycheck that was going to change his life around.

 

He did his best to answer the questions truthfully, as they moved away from his life to his father's, and even his grandfather, who he only met once before he passed away. They were simple questions that were not too probing, and not too embarrassing, either. Simple, where did they live, and what did they do, type questions.

 

As Joe watched her give Mr. Preston his drink and then sit down, he wondered why he was even needed, if she was capable of taking care of him. She crossed her legs and then looked at him with a smile. She then began to join Mr. Preston in the questions.

 

The questions were even more personal in nature, compared to the old man's questions, as they delved into his love life. Mr. Preston was quick to ask if he planned on getting married. Joe thought about marriage and how the question was innocent enough to answer truthfully. He loved Laura, but not enough to spend everything on a ring and commitment when he knew his life was ahead of him. He thought it was a dick answer, but it was a truthful one.

 

Madeleine and Mr. Preston both seemed to perk up, like he had said something good and that confused him, too. She asked about Laura, and if they were planning on having kids. He answered maybe, and then things got weirder. She then asked if he was sexually satisfying to her, and if she liked lots of sex.

 

It was then that he needed to remind himself that the paycheck was why he was there, and that old people love to talk and are strange. He answered vaguely with, "Yes...sometimes, or I think so."

 

He hoped she would stop asking questions and was saved when the old man looked at her with a smirk, and called her a nympho, "who needs to butt out of other people's business."

 

Joe remembered his parents would fight, and thought it was normal, but never did he hear such a thing in a fight. His stunned face got even more shocked when she looked at the old man smiling. "Tell me to butt out again, and I will tell the strippers not to come."

 

Joe looked at the door and then at them. This was the time to quit, as the opening was there. He also realized that these two old people were the strangest old couple ever. That he was going to be dealing with this on a daily basis, and things might get even stranger.

 

She then looked at him as his face got distorted. "You like tits right? The girls coming have great big titties."

 

The old man saved him the embarrassment with, "Of course he likes tits. Everyone loves tits." Joe nodded and Madeleine got up, smiling, saying that they would be here this afternoon.

 

Joe had a bunch of questions running through his head, but felt more embarrassed and shy that they were so open about their sexual thoughts. He knew he loved a great big pair of breasts, but to admit it to another person was just awkward.

 

Mr. Preston excused himself to use the facilities and Madeline was alone with him, as he wondered if the job was right for him. These two old people were batshit crazy and it might get worse. The pay was amazing though, and that was his reasoning for not leaving right then and there.

 

The rabbit hole of the new job got deeper, as Madeline explained what he would be doing on a daily basis. She explained that Mr. Preston needed to be driven around town which consisted of just him meeting his friends. There were no doctor's appointments, no medical pickups and nothing to do with the fact the man looked to be over a hundred.

 

The other part of the job was to just be in the house, to make sure he did not fall or get hurt. She explained that Mr. Preston was capable of walking, but would fall often. Joe asked about any other medical condition, and all she could do was smirk like it was a crazy question.

 

It was just the first day and Joe just wondered if the old couple was just joking with him, but the strange antics continued when actual strippers showed up to the door. This was just the tip, as Joe saw that they had a housekeeper, too.

 

Madeline introduced her as Josephine, and she did not look a day older than twenty. It wasn't her age that threw him for a loop, but the way she looked and dressed. She was drop-dead gorgeous with large, firm breasts. They were on display, as the French maid outfit she wore, just held them in as they looked like a sudden breeze might make them spill out.

 

Josephine looked Latin, or maybe Middle Eastern, with her straight black hair and slightly olive complexion. She was short, standing only a few inches above five feet, but her figure made up for her height. She had hips that swelled out perfectly and a rounded ass that was both firm and shapely. Joe knew she was the picture-perfect image of what almost every man wanted.

 

Joe was shocked, as strippers did come and he was given a show. Mr. Preston enjoyed it, but what he thought was weird was Madeline stayed for the show, commenting on their body shapes and how they danced. It was odd and it seemed to get worse as she encouraged the dancers to be more provocative. Joe even asked if he owned a strip club, only to get a smile from Madeline and Mr. Preston.

 

Joe knew quitting was not an option, with the money being so good. He was also amazed that he was not to use his car for driving Mr. Preston around. As he said, "I will not be driven around town in that shitbox of a car." Joe was asked to drive Mr. Preston's car and he never offered a complaint when he did it was an Aston Martin. It was like being paid to deal with weird elderly people, who enjoyed strange things.