Chapter One

 

The internet taught me a lot about sex. It combined with my adolescent hormones to make me fascinated by the possibilities of all the naughty and nasty things I saw on my computer. The problem was that I was a girl. Girls are not encouraged to explore such things. Boys can be as experimental as they want, and no one cares. A guy who sleeps with a different girl every day, or twice every day, would be a hero to his classmates. Well, the boys anyway.

Needless to say, such behavior among girls is unacceptable. Wanting anything even mildly out of the ordinary about sex would, if it got out, make her the subject of mockery and ridicule. Sex is a minefield for girls. If you don't permit enough you're a prude. If you permit too much you're a slut. If you react too enthusiastically then you're some kind of nympho. If you don't react at all you're a dead fuck.

And boys are worse gossips than girls are when it comes to sex. You absolutely cannot rely on their discretion. At least not in high school. They were so proud of themselves that they wanted to tell everyone they knew! And it was only worse if the girl they were with reacted (or pretended to react) with a lot of enthusiasm.

Which meant you had to always be on your guard, always be careful about what you say and do. Sex was very stressful! A girl I knew named Allison asked a guy to tie her up once and for the rest of her time in school, she was a bondage pervert, the subject of teasing, taunts, and ridicule.

I learned from that, you better believe! No way was I going to tell a guy to tie me up!

And yet, that was one of the ideas that fascinated me. I saw videos of it and the idea of myself tied up naked and being... being... ravished by some big, strong, powerful guy took my breath away! I wanted to be overpowered, tied up, and used ruthlessly by some cruel (sexy) man!

But only in a good way, you understand. I mean by a man I could trust not just to keep his mouth shut but not to hurt me.

In my fantasies, such men had the faces of various Hollywood actors but with the personalities from various romance novels I devoured. Always tender and caring and kind, but in bed, dominant and rough, manhandling me the way a girl should be manhandled!

I won't say it was an obsession or anything. It was just my most popular sexual fantasy, one I never did a single thing to try to bring to life because I didn't dare to.

What made it all so frustrating was that guys were such sluts they'd have been eager to do anything I wanted. Guys always wanted sex. And no one judged them badly for it! They'd do just about anything to get it, too. Which was all the more reason to be wary around them.

I mean, I might have had a fantasy about being forced to do things but I didn't want that to be the reality. And I knew very well that I was a sheep surrounded by a bunch of hungry, salivating wolves every time I was around guys.

I went to a graduation party which eventually became just a group of us in a hot tub in our underwear. We were all friends, but that didn't mean the guys weren't looking lustfully at me and the other girls. And then the other girls left and I found myself temporarily the only girl in a hot tub with five horny guys in their underwear.

I was wearing lingerie, that night, too, sexy, slinky, lacy, and partially see-through. The sexual tension I began to feel was almost palpable. I knew that if the guys had a few more beers, or if they could get me to consume a couple more, I could see myself naked and gang-banged that night!

And that idea was darkly thrilling as a fantasy, but appalling in reality, even if I did know them all. I didn't want to be remembered to my high school class as the girl who fucked five guys on graduation night! No way! Uh uh! And no way would they keep silent about it either!

So despite the sexual electricity I was feeling making my nipples tingle and my breasts throb, despite the dark hunger I felt, I excused myself and took off.

Hey, it's your fucking fault, guys! If you weren't all such blabbermouths we'd be interested in doing a lot of nasty things!

I went home and masturbated to the fantasy of me and them all naked, and their hands all over my body! In some of the fantasies, I was tied up and being ruthlessly 'ravished', while in others I was an enthusiastic participant.

Those fantasies played out in my mind for a long time afterward, because I knew, I absolutely knew that at least some of them would have happened if I hadn't left. It was the near reality of it all which had left me breathless.

I went to college that fall and left behind all the people I'd known, along with the need to be very careful about what I did and who I did it with. I was a bit slow to grasp that. But the college was so huge compared to my old high school, and people cared a lot less about what others were doing.

As a freshman, I was allotted a dorm room which I shared with another girl. Calling it a dorm room might be a bit deceptive. It's a little suite made up of two tiny bedrooms on either side of a study/lounge room which had an adjoining bathroom with a shower.

The other girl had already moved in when my parents and I moved my stuff in and never showed up through our tearful goodbyes. When they were gone I carefully arranged all my things, put my stuff away in the dresser and closet in my room, and then considered the lounge area.

There were a couple of desks there, along with a pair of cushioned chairs facing a television next to a small brick fireplace. Strings of lights had already been strung along the ceiling and there was a painting hung on the wall over the fireplace. It was of a very blue ocean or sea and had a naked girl swimming up toward the surface high above.

I doubted it or anything else had come from the college, so the other girl must have put it all in place. Her name, I knew, was Ariana, but I knew nothing else about her. I considered what of my own I might put there to make it a little more like me, but honestly, she had done a good job and I was hesitant to intrude on a space she'd clearly made hers.

I'm not a very assertive person, to be honest.

I was decorating my own bedroom when Ariana breezed in.

"So here you are!" she exclaimed.

I turned, startled and she grinned at me from the doorway of my bedroom.

"Good, you'll do."

"What?"

"You're Sage, right?"

"Uhm, yes. Ariana?"

"Got it in one, kid.

I had gotten an expensive haircut and style the week before. I have soft brown hair and I'd had it styled short so I didn't have to spend a lot of time with it while at college. It was parted in the middle and curved delicately down around my egg-shaped face to brush lightly along my collar.

Ariana, on the other hand, hand, was blonde, very, very blonde. Her golden hair spilled down alongside her face in a golden wave, splashing across her shoulders and much of the way down her chest. If she was topless, her breasts would have been hidden by it.

It was beautiful, don't get me wrong. She was beautiful. But the first thought I had was how much effort it was going to be to wash and dry and style all that.

"I guess we'll be roommates," I said with a smile.

"Lucky us!" she exclaimed. "You always wear those glasses? You have gorgeous eyes."

"Uh... I do have contacts," I said. "But these are much easier."

"Well, it makes you look sort of intellectual. Goes with your name," she said, looking around with interest.

"Glad to find you're a white girl," she said.

I blinked in surprise and she grinned.

"Don't mean that in a racist way. But Black girls have a tendency to resent me. Actually, lots of girls resent me. I'm pretty hot. I'm glad you're hot too. Ugly girls resent me the most. But Black girls especially resent me. Or at least, they really do when I date Black guys. And most Asian girls are so fixated on studies that they're boring as shit. They sure aren't into wild parties and kinky sex!"

I kind of gaped at her at all this.

"Uh... wild parties and kinky sex?"

"You're not a virgin, are you?"

"Uhm, no."

I was kind of taken aback by her question. I mean, we'd barely met. At the same time, I didn't want her to think I was some kind of, well... innocent.

"Good. I'm not sure what I'd do with a virgin. Especially one of those religious girls. Yikes. I'd wake up one night and find them in my room trying to perform an exorcism."

"That uhm, happen a lot?"

"Maybe I'm exaggerating a little. Anyway, I'm a junior, so I get to look after you and show you around. You should thank me for my selflessness."

"Uh, okay."

She stepped forward so closely that I took an involuntary step back. She reached out and grabbed my shoulders and stepped forward again so our breasts were practically touching as she looked down.

"Excellent! We're pretty close to the same size. I can borrow your clothes!"

That left out whether or not I wanted to loan her my clothes, of course. Or whether what I wore would interest her. I mean, I was wearing a black sweatshirt over cargo pants today. A good, practical outfit for moving in and setting things up. Ariana was wearing a short, tight crop top and low-slung jeans that might have been painted on.

"Aside from bras, of course," she said, stepping back and then poking a finger into the center of my left breast.

As it wasn't my normal experience to have strangers poking their fingers into my breast I was momentarily caught off-balance, even though she quickly withdrew the finger and moved to one side to look around at the room.

"You need more colors," she said.

"I find grey to be a soothing, relaxing color," I said, my eyes flicking to the curtains and bedspread I'd brought.

"BO-ring!" she replied.

"It's where I sleep. It's supposed to be boring!" I exclaimed.

She made a rude nose, then gripped my wrist and tugged me towards the door fast enough I almost stumbled.

"Ariana!" I protested.

She pulled me across the study room and into her bedroom. Which was... not much like mine.

"It's very Boho, don't you think!?"

It was very colorful. I had to give it that much. She'd hung some kind of patterned tapestry on the wall behind the bed and matched it with a colorful bedspread and a couple of dozen colorful pillows. There was also a colorful rug on the floor next to it.

I don't need to tell you the colors. Think of a color. It was there. All very bright, too. Nothing was one color. Be it the bedspread, rug, pillows, or tapestry. There were three or four or six colors on them all. Not the same colors either. It looked like a kaleidoscope exploded.

"It's very colorful," I said.

"Isn't it!? It's warm and cozy, too!"

I didn't comment on that.

"Want me to help you redo yours?"

"No, thank you. I like boring."

"Why?! You're like what? Eighteen or nineteen? This isn't the time for boring, Sage! This is the time for fun and excitement and experimenting with wild ideas!"

"I still need to sleep."

"I intend to do a lot more than sleep in this room," she said with a smirk. Which reminds me, if you have any guys sleep over tell them not to wander around in the common room naked unless they're like, really hot. Then it's okay."

She grinned at me, then looked up at the ceiling.

"How do you think I can hang a mirror up there?"

"Why would you want to?"

"You think I should just put a video camera in instead? But I can't watch what's happening unless I put a monitor up there. Well, unless I'm on my hands and knees. Then I can put the monitor where I can see it."

I looked at her, nonplussed.

"Well, this is a time for fun, girlfriend!"

"I think, uhm, that you have to be careful about videos like that. I mean, in case someone else gets hold of them and they wind up on the internet."

She waved that away. "There's so many naked girls having sex on the internet that if mine were up there you'd never find it unless you put a team of researchers to work. Barring bad luck, anyway.

"That could be - ."

"Think about it! There must be millions of sex vids and billions of pictures on the internet! What are the odds anyone I know comes across mine? Anyway, it's not like I plan on handing them out to guests. Also, I look incredibly hot in them."

I was finding it hard not to just stare at her like some strange apparition, some creature I'd never met before.

"I don't want to brag," she said, bragging, "but I have an incredible body. And I look fantastic naked. Want to see my pictures?"

"Uhm, no thank you," I said politely.

She shrugged. "I'm sure you'll see me naked before long. We're roomies, after all. And I'm not exactly shy."

"No," I said faintly, "I can see that."

She slapped her belly proudly.

"Feel this," she said.

Before I could demur, she'd grabbed my hand and placed it against her stomach, then rubbed it up and down along her stomach and abdomen. Her skin was soft and warm but there was no denying she was very fit and firm.

"Pole dancing," she confided.

"Pardon?"

"It's fantastic exercise! And not at all boring! It works your arms, your shoulders, your thighs and butt, and of course, your stomach."

"I uhm, do yoga."

"BO-ring!"

She let go of my hand and I quickly pulled it back.

"So what are you taking?" she asked.

I was about to answer when she said "Wait!" and then rushed out the door, through the middle room and into my bedroom, with me following. I found her there examining the books I'd bought.

"Blech," she said, looking at Economics 101.

She pushed aside others on my dresser and made more faces.

"Mathematics of Finance, Accounting, Business Law, Communications Fundamentals? Uhg. Are you taking some kind of business course?"

"I'm taking Business Administration," I said.

"You want to sit in a cubicle at a computer all your life?

"What are you taking?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"Veterinary Science."

That surprised me. I had been expecting something like physical education. Also, you had to have really high marks to get into veterinary science. Ariana was smarter than she looked or acted.

"I love animals," she said.

"I wasn't really sure what to take," I admitted. "But this has an eclectic group of courses that will give me a better idea of where I want to go."

"Well, where you want is one thing. What it pays and what the job is like is another. I mean, I'd like to be a high-priced call girl. You're your own boss and it pays great but I don't think I'd like the working conditions."

I stared at her in astonishment.

"I mean, I love sex, but sex with old guys maybe not so much. Plus, I really don't think I want to catch anything. Maybe I could be a high-priced call girl just for women. Way easier work, less dangerous, and less likely to catch anything unpleasant. I'm just not sure if that's a thing. Plus, frankly, lesbians tend to be fat. I'm not into fat girls."

"You have no filter, do you?" I asked.

"Not really," she replied with a shrug.

This was going to be an interesting term.