EXTRACT FOR
Noelle's Diary
(Giselle Renarde)

Dear Diary,

I had the strangest dream last night.  

And when I woke from it, things only got weirder.

How did it start?  I don't remember.  Dreams are like that: one minute you're parasailing on the rings of Saturn, the next you're disco dancing in the Himalayas.

My dream wasn't about either of those settings, or either of those activities.  I think I'm maybe too ashamed to write what really happened.

But here goes...

I had sex with Candy.

Not in real life!  I want to make this point very clear, in case some intrusive interloper happens to read these words I'm writing.  For the record: it was only a dream. I did not sleep with my brother's girlfriend in the actual world.  Even if the opportunity arose, I would never do a thing like that.  And not just because Candy is dating Lucas, although that's obviously a huge factor.  

Another factor is that Candy's annoying as hell.  I wouldn't want her stupid squeaky voice in my ear when I'm trying to come.  I know what her orgasms sound like??"hard not to hear them when we live in the same house??"and I don't know how Lucas can stand it.

I try not to think about matters that are no business of mine, but when you come home from work to find two reprobates boning in front of the TV, their business quickly becomes your business.  I live here too, by the way.  It would be nice to sit on a chair and know for sure it isn't slick with...

This is getting gross.

But I guess it started out that way.  We are talking about a sex dream involving my brother's girlfriend.

I shouldn't say the dream was gross.  The dream wasn't gross.

What came after the dream, after I woke up... well...

I really don't know what to make of that.