CHAPTER ONE

THE MEETING

 

What a terrible six months I have just had. The divorce, which came initially as a shock to me, had come through, and now I had, had to go to Scotland, to see my solicitor, and sign the papers. At least that was the end of it, he told me, also that I would soon receive the decree absolute, and would be free of my cheating wife, sorry, ex-wife. She was the one that had gone for the divorce, on the grounds of cruelty. I asked my solicitor what would first prize be if I won the case.

"You get your wife back," he said calmly.

"Well don't fight it then, I am well rid of her," I said.

I had decided to go and come back in the day, a long, long and tiring drive, but I didn't want to stay overnight, and that was the last time I would need to go. Somehow I felt relieved, yet sad, yet happy it was all over, and what I needed most of all was a pint of beer. Upon reaching the outskirts of my home town I pulled into a pub car park, and entered the pub.

It was a pub I had used in the past, it usually had a busy early doors trade, and being early in the evening, I decided to go and have some company. I entered, got my pint and looked around at the almost empty room.

"Quiet tonight Dave?" I said.

"Yeah football," he replied with a shrug.

I spied a table with five women sat around it, and went over.

"Evening ladies, do you mind if I join you for a drink?" I said amiably enough.

"There appears to be several empty tables, erm, like all the others, why this one, is it reserved, I don't think so," the mousy haired woman at the far end said.

I looked her up and down, admired her well-formed chest, proud and firm looking, her classic features the style of her clothes and her general appearance, a woman of substance and breeding, I would have guessed.

"No, as I said I am tired, and would like a bit of company, just one beer that is all, but if I am intruding I will leave you," I said as an apology, and made to leave.

"No, no, sit down, one beer won't kill us, mines a Carlsberg," the woman next to me said.

"Make that five," the one facing her said.

"My pleasure," I replied and ordered them from the bar and sat down.

"Humph," the first woman said, "since my periods stopped I have been much better, no pains they were terrible, what about you?" she said looking directly at me.

"Oh, yes much better," I said humouring her.

"You don't mind if we continue the conversation we were having, it was about women of the fifties, if Bev ever went on Mastermind that would be her subject, the fifties and sixties, and the clothes they wore," she said leaning on the table, goading me.

"No, not at all, I am interested in those times as well, especially the music, that was music, not the thump, thump, thump of today," I said slightly changing the subject, and matching her lean.

"I agree," the lady sat next to me said, and added, "The Beetles, The Stones, some great bands."

"Yes, and The Moody Blues, all so, so good, but we were discussing the clothing, like the underwear a woman had to wear, so restricting, and uncomfortable," she said her eyes narrowed, and her mouth set, she was daring me.

I felt it was a tease and torment because I had perhaps unwittingly insinuated myself in their company when it was not really, wanted.

"Yes, but it isn't like that today, and they were brought up in that time so got on with it, they knew no better, or different, should I say," I said smiling.

"So you think that because you know no better it is ok, to imprison a body, not with bricks and iron, but clothe and elastic, and just as restrictive, do you? Men, Ha?" she asked in disgust.

"I didn't say that, all I said was that they knew no better, so accepted it, no one forced them, apart from peer pressure," I argued back.

The others watched us as the banter continued, "They, the males, have no idea what it was like, suspenders, corsets, panty girdles, just so that we were attractive to the male of the species. Ha, and what did they do, nothing, some Brute, if you were lucky, it stunk the place out," she threw back at me.

"It must have been hell for you," I said allowing my point to drop, and then continued, "but not these days, women have been liberated," I said smiling.

"What do you mean hell for me!" she said angrily, the others giggled.

"The way you are talking it sounds as if you were there," I said.

"Do I look that old?" she asked shocked.

"Do I have to answer that?" I shot back.

"You," she said screwing her eyes up at me, "My mum wet herself waiting to use the toilet, and then half undressing to sit down, ok, just damp, a dribble, but she was so embarrassed, and it was at a women's dinner. Men do not have that problem; clothes so awkward to get out of, you wet yourself, and you shouldn't answer a question, with a question," she shot back at me.

"Well don't ask stupid questions," I replied, "And I didn't ask her to wear it, a stupid dress, if you ask me."

"Ever had a period, worn a bra, you men have no idea what it is like, a dress so tight that you can hardly breathe, breasts hanging out for the boss to see, in the hope your man would get the promotion he was after, all just to support your man, at the office do," she snapped back.

"Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea,

I can see that I am intruding, sorry," I said and made to leave.

"No you paid for a chat, I mean you bought us a beer, you will want your money's worth, won't you," she said.

"I think I have had it, more than enough, thank you, I am sorry to have intruded, oh and by the way, keep taking the tablets, the PMT hasn't finished, like the periods have, apparently," I said.

"Typical, just when it is getting interesting, and you think you are going to lose the argument, you run, typical male, a coward," she said forcefully.

"Wow, that is a battle cry if ever I heard one, and I am just in the mood for you, I never asked you to wear those things, and for your information misses, to please the women, and be in fashion I almost crippled myself in tight shoes, and skin tight jeans, just to please the female of the species," I snapped back.

"Big deal, high heels, six inches of thin metal, tight underwear, periods, draughty skirts, and you had shoes and jeans, oh, how I feel for you," she said.

"I can do nothing about the periods, those are a fact of life, it was your bad luck to be born a woman if that is how you feel, but you didn't have to fight for your date, you didn't have to wear the clothes any more than I did, open necked shirts in winter to prove how tough you were, freezing your ballocks off" I snapped back.

"Damp knickers and a wind blowing up your skirt, making your pussy cold, I bet you would not even be able to use the toilet if we dressed you in clothes of the period," she goaded me.

"Why would I want to, I am a man," I said back, staring at her hard, "and yes I would, they don't make clothes so that you can't use the toilet, HA," I said.

"Why because you're not tough enough, and a male coward, afraid to be proven wrong," she snapped and turned half on to the table, I did the same, silence fell on the table.

I looked at her with a sideways glance, and I smiled to myself she was enjoying the banter and debate, as much as I was. I felt an emotion I hadn't felt in a long time, I fancied her. I watched as her breasts heaved, as she breathed heavily from the arguing, well, that is too strong, the banter, heated banter. I was also breathing heavily yet I was enjoying the session, probably as much as she was, it had been a long time since I had crossed verbal swords with someone of character.

"Look let's begin again," the woman sat next to her said, "I am Bev, this is Joan, next to you is Angie, then Sylvie and finally, your nemesis, Jane."

"Pleased to meet you ladies and Jane, I am David," I said back trying to goad Jane.

"Oh, so it's ladies, and Jane is it, am I not a lady?" she asked snapping at me taking the bait.

"Of course you are, of the first order, but I wanted to get even, I think you were ahead on points, in our debate," I said smiling.

"Hey, you two, stop it, and change the subject," Bev said.

"Typical male, no guts just two useless balls hanging waiting for a woman to get them going, then two seconds, and it's all over," Jane said, half smiling, "Ok, I'll make a bet, you are not capable of being a woman of the fifties for just twenty four hours. The housework alone would kill you," Jane said picking up her purse, "There five hundred pounds, have you got the balls, to match it?"

"Why do I feel that I have been set up?" I asked, yet smiling at them.

"You asked to join us, we were talking about periods and feminine stuff, I just continued the talk, and included you," she said, now with a sardonic smile, it was her turn to goad me.

"Five hundred you say, well that is too rich for me, but I wouldn't mind taking the bet," I said easily, trying to get out of the situation with some grace.

"Ok," she said and leaned closer over the table, her blouse opening up allowing an expanse of breast to be visible, "Look, yes that is all you're good for looking down a woman's top. I'll make it easier for you a forfeit, no money; my money is there, instead you can do a forfeit, if you lose. Now do you have the balls to take the bet?" She asked me.

"So all I have to do, is do the house work for a day, twenty four hours, and I get five hundred pounds?" I said.

"No, asshole, be a woman of the fifties for twenty four hours. You arrive at my house at say nine in the morning, we then do a makeover, and dress you as a woman, fifties style, the corset etcetera, then you do the house work. You have to do everything a woman does for just twenty four hours. It would be too easy for you if it was just the housework, but all in fifties, sixties period style clothes, and their equipment," she said leaning heavily on the table and staring at me, daring me to accept the bet.

"And my forfeit if I fail, not that I will be doing it?" I asked confidently.

"Well if you are that confident what does it matter, hum?" she asked smiling.

"If you agree we will ensure that it is fair, won't we girls?" Sylvie asked joining the debate eagerly, they all agreed.

I now had five women staring at me, willing, and no, daring me to take the bet.

"Before you decide I must tell you that we are not allowed to help you in anyway whatsoever. You must do the full twenty four hours as our parents did, nil points, for assistance," Jane said leaning closer, her eyes fixed on mine, daring me to back down.

"Ok, I agree, now when?" I said.

Jane sat back and smiled at me, her eyes said that I had been conned, she had something up her sleeve, and I would not like it.

"When are you free? I mean for twenty four plus hours, remember you have to spend twenty four hours as a woman; we will have to dress you etcetera, prior to the time beginning, and then change you back once you finish. Ok, so we won't need the full twenty four hours, you won't last," she said half turned away from the table discounting my abilities.

Jane looked down at her fingernails and picked at them absentmindedly, as if nothing was happening, concluding that I would either not take the bet, or confident that I would fail.

"So you want me to come to your house, why can't you come to mine, at least I know where everything is there, make it fair?" I asked uneasily.

"No," she replied bluntly, still picking her finger nails as if cleaning dirt from under them, yet from her dress and general demeanour I knew that there was nothing there, she was to particular, for that.

"And why not? Being in a strange house will put me at a disadvantage. Oh I get it, you're afraid I might win, and want to make sure I don't, by cheating that's it isn't it?" I asked in a demanding tone.

"Because we would have to transport all the equipment, idiot, it would be like moving house, you twit, all you have to bring is yourself, dumb men, I ask you, do you have a washing machine say of the fifties, no it is an automatic washing machine, you are the cheat. I have access to fifties and sixties machines, it is my friends hobby, and they are all in perfect working order" she said absentmindedly.

"Ok, sorry that makes sense, except, what other equipment?" I asked suddenly confused.

"They didn't have automatic washing machines then, I could have said in Victorian times when they didn't have vacuum cleaners either, and had coal fires to be cleaned out, just the fifties, lost your balls, have you?" she goaded me.

"No, a bet is a bet; I have accepted and stand by it. Ok, give me your address, and I will be there on Monday, if that is alright with you?" I said boldly, or stupidly, I was not sure about that.

"Wait," Bev said, "You don't have the equipment either, so let's make it on neutral ground. I do, and if he wins the bet, you will have had your house cleaned as well, so to be fair to me, it should be my house. I am the friend who collects machines of that period, aren't I, so I should be compensated, for using them," Bev added.

"That makes sense, why should you gain anything when you lose, so I agree, what about you?" I said sticking my head out goading her.

"I agree; it will take place at Bev's house, now when?" Jane asked.

She smiled, I didn't like that, she was a scheming bitch, of that I was sure, but all in fun, or was it? I knew I was in for a hard time, but I wasn't about to allow her to get the better of me. It was as if we had hit it off, she was the antagonist, always trying to goad me, but in fun. She was enjoying this almost as much as, I was dreading the day, yet, I also looked forward to it. It was a challenge, and I liked challenges. Ironic really, we were enjoying each other's company, yet all we had done was argue, well, Ok, debate. It was as if we had been friends for a long time. She seemed to know which button to push, to get the reaction she wanted, and I also did, but in this case she was most certainly in the driving seat, and I was the one about to be taken, for a ride.

"I am Ok for Monday, what about the rest of you?" Jane asked.

They all agreed that they were free, and it was settled, next Monday, I would go to the address she had written down on a piece of paper, and put in an envelope.

"Whoa, to be fair we need a contract, I will write it. Jane Ann Williamson, being the beter, and," Joan looked at me, "David Thomas Jones, the betee," she said after I had told her my name.

"Where the hell did you get those names from?" Sylvie asked Joan.

"Well it's like the licensee and licensor," she said shrugging her shoulders, "Agree to have a bet that the betee, cannot fulfil the role of a woman of the fifties for twenty four hours, in all aspects. The bet is for. We can't have money, and a forfeit, come on?" Joan said.

"Ok, I'll take the money back, and I'll do a forfeit if he wins, how about a week doing all the chores for the winner, as their slave. I mean that is nasty enough, isn't it? Me, his maid, for a week, yuck," Jane said.

"I agree, I can't think of anything more distasteful than working for you," I replied.

"The bet is for a period of not less than one week, the looser will work for the winner, as their slave. To do, reach, fetch and carry any and all jobs, requested of them," she said writing it down as she spoke, "The bet will be carried out at Bev's house, on Monday the 29^th October, starting at seven am, and finishing at seven am on Tuesday the 30^th October, full stop. Now, the betee will arrive no later than. What time?" she asked.

They all looked at each other, Jane had a time in mind, but that would give her game away, I watched as she desperately wanted to speak.

"Seven," I said.

"No, that would mean that, getting you ready was included in the twenty four hours, so you would not actually complete the allotted time," Jane was quick to say, too quickly, I thought.

"She is right, how about Sunday night, we can then get you set up so that you can get up and dressed ready for seven o' clock, on Monday morning, fair enough?" Angie said.

"I, well that means more than twenty four hours," I said being awkward.

"See told you soft as well you know what, no balls, oh don't worry my bedroom door will be locked, from the inside," Jane snapped at me.

"I presume Bev that mine will also lock from the inside. I'd hate to have an unwanted visitor in the night sleep walking, perhaps?" I asked back.

"Stop it you two, put me in as referee, I will see to it that neither of you cheat, because I am the expert, you are like two bloody kids," Sylvie said.

"Right, also men are supposed to be the best navigators, and that is her address," Jane said, handing me the envelope, "You may open it Sunday night. If we see or hear from you before Sunday, you lose, it is in this town so it shouldn't be hard to find, you will pull up in the drive at seven pm sharp, let us see how good you really are," Jane said throwing down another gauntlet.