EXTRACT FOR
Naomi And The Neanderthal
(Kelly Addams)

A familiar aroma drifted faint on the breeze, and Naomi sniffed twice, then opened her eyes.

Wood smoke, somewhere a fire had been lit. And that means people, maybe even a way to get back without having to use the tunnel.

Standing back in the centre of the clearing Naomi studied the sky above the trees, she couldn't be positive but directly opposite the cave mouth the blue was slightly discoloured, maybe a wisp of smoke.

Worth a look she told herself and struck off through the long grass quickly entering the trees. Pine needles crunched under foot, the grass had given way the moment gloom surrounded her, now everything was different, the sun shone down in places like bright fingers piercing the shadow, fungi grew in abundance some brown and cream, others with vivid red caps. The scent of resin hung heavy and fragrant in the air, a fresh clean aroma. But strong too she realised, the smoke had disappeared, now she was guessing the direction.

I'm sure it was coming from this way, Naomi peered between the perfectly straight tree trunks in hope of spotting smoke. Just keep walking straight she told herself, straight was safe, it was meandering that would get her hopelessly lost.

But I didn't need to worry she chuckled as the trees began to thin and the blue-grey of wood smoke came into view.

This must be one of those heritage centres! Naomi stepped into another circular clearing, but rather than being shrubs and grass the centre was bare earth surrounding a massive flat stone the size of a small car and standing at roughly waist height. Behind the stone stood a heavy wooden cross. But this isn't a religious thing she reasoned, at least not Christian. The arms were the same length and rather than being an upright with a crossbar, they both tilted at an angle to cross in the middle. Like a giant X she thought. Standing between the cross and the rock a fire crackled and spat. Which means people must be close by, if any of them speak English I can get directions back to Helga's.

This is definitely a Heritage place she told herself, she had seen programmes on the television where medieval villages had been recreated, like examples of living history. Except this isn't middle ages, this is like prehistoric. Round thatched houses skirted the clearing, rudimentary dwellings of timber and grass. That explains the fresh cave paintings, Naomi almost laughed aloud that she'd been so easily fooled.

It might even be some kind of theme park, like Jurassic park but with cavemen rather than dinosaurs. So there must be an entrance or offices somewhere close... because I think it's time I got the hell out of here.

This place really does look authentic, Naomi smiled, and so much attention had been paid to detail. To one side an A-frame made from straight tree branches bound together with what looked like sinew bent under the weight of fish drying. And close by an animal skin was laid out on the ground, the bone laid on it was huge. I don't know what that is supposed to be from, maybe a mammoth? Curious she stepped closer, a dozen buzzing flies rose into the air and she realised that the meat attached was fresh.

It's a leg she guessed, but what animal has a leg so big. This thing must have been made for the park, a fake bone with real meat glued to it... damn this place really does focus on the small details.

Swatting away the flies that had started to land on her arms and face Naomi skirted around the fire. Blackened stones declared that the fire burned frequently, this wasn't a prop, clearly the staff kept it burning constantly. The crackling logs were green wood that oozed sap, and beside the stones lay an axe, the handle looked like a solid shin bone, the head was shaped flint bound with more tight sinew.

"Amazing." she chuckled as she stooped down and tested the weight of the prehistoric tool. Nothing seemed to be fake in any way.

Carefully she laid the axe back where she had found it and looked across to the flat table stone as she decided to call it. It was very similar to a table, the surface level and covered in chisel marks. It had clearly been worked to make it so flat. Maybe guests get to eat a caveman meal as part of the tour she mused, it was certainly large enough to accommodate a group of eight or ten visitors. 

But what are these for? Attached to stakes hammered securely into the ground at each corner of the stone were rawhide thongs each with a loop formed at the free end. Maybe they have a cover, or a tent that goes over the top for when the weather is bad? It made sense in a way, if the park was open during the winter then protection would be needed to shield visitors from the rain and snow.

"All very interesting." she chuckled, then looked out from the clearing in the direction she presumed the entrance would lie, "But now I'm ready to get back to the real world." She was growing hungry, and there was only so much culture that she could stomach... the place was cute, maybe even educational for some. But I'm not a girl who does cute or educational she grinned, and maybe there might be someone in the staff here who can help me scratch my itch... but not a horny woodsman... a horny wannabe caveman!

In the tree line at the edge of the glade a movement caught her eye, not that bear I hope she thought as she peered into the gloom beneath the trees. Don't be stupid Naomi she chided silently, the bear story was just that, a fantasy to keep her on the road and prevent her from getting lost in the forest. So what else could it be she questioned, a deer, that was possible, she had seen them many mornings in the woods surrounding the hotel? Not a wild boar she decided, the shadow that she had seen had been taller than the hairy wild pigs that were common in the more remote places. 

A person? That option made less sense, what she had seen appeared to be avoiding contact, surely someone from the park would have approached her directly, if only to demand what the hell she was doing there?

Most probably a deer she decided, then held her breath as another shadowy figure passed beneath the trees.

Not deer. Naomi peered harder into the gloom then took a few paces forward.

"Hi there." she called out as a shape paused beside a thick pine trunk, "Does anyone here speak English?"

"Bună ziua!" She tried, using all the Romanian that she knew. The figure remained still, and silent.

Well this is odd, surely saying hello in their own language should have created some reaction, even if they do come jabbering on saying things I'll never understand... but why stay there peeping at me?

Naomi turned her head, behind her on the opposite side of the glade, and standing between two of the thatched roundhouses a person had grunted.

"Oh my God!" She almost burst out laughing. "Wow, that is amazing make-up."

It was a woman, a very hairy and very naked cave woman. Naomi grinned, it must all be a part of the show, the experience. Prehistory in the modern world, a woman completely naked and covered in shaggy ginger hair. And her face, Naomi fought with memory for the name. 

Piltdown? She shook her head, that wasn't it, and she was pretty sure that Piltdown Man had turned out to be a fake anyway. 

Homo Erectus? Maybe, but wasn't Erectus just a less developed version of us, modern Homo Sapiens?

"Neanderthal!" the name came to her suddenly popping into her head, it was the heavy eyebrows that had reminded her, they are pretending to be Neanderthals. I'm in a fake Neanderthal village.

The hairy woman between the thatched huts stood and stared, her eyes below the prominent brows intense. Naomi looked back to the trees, then grinned. And there is the Neanderthal man. Again he was covered in shaggy hair, the only difference between the two being the thick beard that seemed to join seamlessly with his chest hair.

Clutching a flint tipped spear he began to stride forward, in the strong light Naomi could see his form better. All muscle and sinew she thought, then lowered her inspection from his chest. And wow, this place really goes for totally authentic, he isn't even wearing animal skin underpants. Covering his pubis was a patch of extra thick hair, and poking from the ginger growth was a small and wrinkled penis, the skin dark.

Not much of a cock she giggled, she knew guys back at home who were equally small, and not one of them would be prepared to wander around naked in public for fear of the teasing they would most definitely receive. But mini dick here doesn't seem that bothered... maybe all Romanians have tiny cocks!