THE LIBRARIAN

Extract

 

That addiction was like a one hit of a super-crack-cocaine. One hit was all it took and once that hit was absorbed, which for Marianne it was time after time after time, then Marianne would always dribble for it. She would always simply crave something that she would never get. The cruelty that she would experience would be a total cruelty. Not a cruelty that had any peaks and troughs. It was a cruelty just with a peak - and that peak was held, right there, serving to send Marianne into the kind of madness that she would never recover from. There was the complexity to the cruelty inflicted that was impossible. All one saw was this dribbling, drooling wreck of a woman on the edge of that madness. But in effect, the rig, those buds attached to her sexuality and surrounding her nipples were complex pieces of equipment that were fined tuned and could be even further fine-tuned so that the torture ebbed and flowed. It was still there, and that edge was still there. But there was this very nuanced ebb and flow that kept her there, and Marianne would learn to recognise that ebb and flow, and that would make her madder and madder.

"Time for you to be put away. Time for you to be alone with yourself. Time for you to know how your life will be from now on in." Dianne spoke as though she was making something like a huge announcement. This was a big deal for her. It had been a big deal taking Marianne out of circulation - but this was a bigger deal. Getting this woman to the place she needed her to be. Getting her to that desolation and that despair that she would suffer for the rest of her life. So this was indeed like an announcement. One had to spare a thought for Marianne and what was, or what must've been going through her mind. She couldn't talk now. Or at least she couldn't talk in a way that was remotely understandable. She dribbled a lot and she drooled a lot. There was a LOT of drool. And she could kind of talk with her eyes. One could sense that she was trying to beg through her eyes as this non-orgasm lived within her sexuality and within her mind. One got the feeling that if her eyes could talk then she would simply plead and beg. And at this time what she would beg and plead for was not to be released - not to have the door to the outside opened and be let to just walk out. One had this feeling that she would beg and plead for that orgasm that she was being denied. That she would live with anything else as long as she could have that orgasm. One orgasm would do. Just let her have that one orgasm and she could be locked away forever.

But everyone knows it doesn't work like that. Everyone knows that if she got that orgasm - she would want more, and more. That was what this kind of addiction did to a person. It didn't just penetrate the psyche, it penetrated the very essence of a victim. And this was what it was doing to Marianne. This was what she was suffering without the orgasm, the denial of the orgasm was the biggest torture for her. It was the biggest destroyer of her mind. Dianne swiped one side of the parted mirrored doors and that silent gliding happened again. This time the rig containing Marianne was moving towards that door and the blackness beyond. She was being put away. There was this noise that she made when she sensed the motion. It was remarkable that she sensed any motion so smooth was the movement of that rig. But that was just it - Marianne had been so wired up, she had been so switched on and kept on that she would 'feel' everything she was supposed to feel, and more.

But that noise she made was not a pleasant noise. It was a pathetic noise that would be more suited to an animal in distress than to an adult human female being. It wasn't a screaming, or a shouting, or a crying. It wasn't any of those things, it was just a noise that someone in Marianne's situation would make. It was an understandable noise but that it was understandable didn't make it any less disturbing or unsettling. She was still making that noise when the rig had fully inserted itself into and behind that gap in the mirrored walls and then that noise gradually faded as the mirrors came together again. Marianne had been put away. She was already inside her new life. Her new existence! And behind those mirrors it was pitch black. And that pitch black would help concentrate Marianne's mind. It would do that easily because there would be nothing else for her to do except that.