EXTRACT FOR
Kidnapped
(Miranda Birch)

At that very moment, the door opened and a -- someone -- appeared in the doorway. A maid, on first appearance. But what a maid! The uniform was quite ridiculously elaborate. The main colour was pale pink, with lots of white lace. A cap of the same pattern was perched on a mass of bleached-blonde curls. The face was heavily made-up. The waist was narrow, even for a woman. Heavy black stockings sheathed slender legs revealed by a dress so short it barely covered the upper half of the thighs. The feet were clad in matching pink shoes with at least a six-inch heel. 



`It' entered the room and came slowly over to where they were sitting, teetering on the outrageously-high heels, taking tiny mincing steps, but managing to stay upright, somehow. The very short skirt of the dress swished with each little movement, sending masses of lace swaying too and fro. Reaching the table, the bizarre figure executed an elaborate curtsey quite flawlessly, then opened its painted lips to speak. 



"You wang, Mithreth?" she (he? it?) enquired in an artificially high-pitch lisp. 



"This is Petunia, my personal maid," said Nina matter-of-factly. 



Marjorie was puzzled. 



"I don't get it. You.. Karen said Mike would be...?" her voice trailed off uncertainly. 



Nina smirked and simply tilted her head at the bizarre caricature of femininity who stood waiting silently before them. 



Marjorie's mouth opened and closed silently, once, then again. At last, the penny dropped. And then she found her voice. 



"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" 



"Well, maybe you don't, but it is," Nina said, and laughed out loud at her new friend's expression. 



"Impressed with my work, then?" she went on. 



"I'll say! Bloody hell!" Marjorie was still not quite articulate.