Prologue

 

Oh God no. Please no.

And she turned and ran. Ran faster than she had ever run before.

I can't. I can't.

She lost her footing and felt his hand.

I can't. I'm not strong enough.

She was going down.

Please. Oh please, let me be safe...

 

Chapter One

 

There was the snap of a twig and her insides lurched, but she kept going.

The rustling in the dead leaves could be a harmless gray field-mouse, a wayward squirrel perhaps. Probably nothing. God! What was she doing here? Sheldon Park was officially closed for the day; sundown had been hours ago but she was here, in the gloom, amongst the trees, blindly picking her way along the gravel path.

This is Margret's fault, she fretted. All of it: The party. The elicit drinking. The shortcut home. Why had she listened? Why did she ever listen to Margret?

She glanced at her watch and groaned inside. Her mother was going to nail her hide to the wall. She was nearly three hours late, her head was swimming in vodka and if she'd had a moment, she would have crawled into the bushes and tossed up the contents of her stomach.

All because of Margret and her stupid ideas. This is how you meet guys?

She heard the noise again. Louder this time. Closer. She ground to a halt, the blood pounding at her temples and her breath clenched within the bands of her chest.

"Hello...?"

She might have heard a swearword, lightly exhaled. She looked behind, eyes trying to penetrate the shadows but she couldn't be sure. Her mind felt locked in dust; sweat bursting from her pores. She turned and she ran!

But her high-heels slipped; she lost traction in the gravel. She heard the foot-falls, just behind. Pounding persistently. Gaining. She cried out and turned wildly into the darkness but it was no good. She felt the hand twist in her collar; felt her head snap back. And suddenly she was falling, being wrenched down, dropping, her bare knees biting the gravel. She screamed again as he rolled her over; his crushing weight slamming into her, pressing the breath from her lungs. Her hands came up instinctively to protect her face. But she wasn't strong enough.

"Fuckin' cunt!"

He hit her so hard her head collided with the rocks and rebounded; bouncing up to meet his fists.

"No!" she cried as he took her by the hair; lifted her.

She sensed the hand slicing through the darkness but there was nothing she could do. He swung down and hit her a vicious blow. For a second time she felt the back of her head grind into the sharp edges of stone and when he drew back a third time she did her best to turn away. She wanted to vomit but there was only stomach bile. She wanted to disbelieve but there was only another fist. Blood erupted from her nose.

His breath was in her face. "Bitch! I'm gonna fuck you hard!"

He grabbed her by the neck. He smelled like musty shoe-leather and the glove tightened around her throat.

There was a rush of light behind her eyes and the sound of far-off insects in her ears. He slid down along her tummy, rubbing against her. She could feel the hardness; his arousal. A profound sadness settled over her: She had tried, done her best, but she had come up short. Wasn't strong enough; wasn't invincible. It was done. She knew she was about to lose her life and having been raised a good Catholic girl she wondered why the Lord had forsaken her. She fell back; hands empty at her sides. The humiliation and denigration didn't matter now. She was only concerned with how much it would hurt to die. She didn't worry about what her friends might think when her body was found, naked and twisted. Nor what her mother would say; but her little sister was different: Don't think badly of me.

And then his voice broke into her sorrow and oddly, it gave her hope.

"Be still, now. Not a sound or I'll have to cut you. Please. Don't make me cut you. Be still."

Please let me be safe. She lay quietly, then. Let him take what he wanted.

Sue held out her hands, willingly, to be cinched up in twisted wire. She let him place her panties into her mouth. She let him roll her over onto her tummy, push her dress up and move her legs apart. Sue felt his hands on her buttocks; lifting, separating. Oh no!

 

He did things to her that she had only ever read about. And she bore the pain through grinding teeth; watched as her knuckles turned ugly-white; watched until she crumbled and squeezed her eyes closed against the nightmare. Sue retreated; rolled her consciousness up into a ball along with the pain and humiliation; squeezed it smaller and smaller and shrouded it in the back of her skull. Be still. And she dreamed of angels.

Then, when he had finished with her, left her lying, bleeding and seeping fluids into the gravel path, she thought for a moment that she could hear a high-pitched laughter. A girl's laughter. Margret's laughter. Sue strained to listen; but there were only the night-peepers. No... she set it aside, ignored the implication. Couldn't have been. But what she couldn't ignore was the heaviness low down in her belly. Silly... What did she know about it? But there was a difference, inside. She felt it; knew right then that she was pregnant. There was no logic to it; but all the same, she knew. She thought about having a baby. Sue thought of the Angels.

Chapter Two

 

The furious pounding at the front door was all out of proportion to the strength and size of the rakish little girl who was doing the pounding.

Lee checked the peephole then swung back the door. Her niece, a dove-like creature, stood on the other side of the glass.

Mindy, not yet a woman, but poised on the threshold and ready to take those first tentative steps into a mature relationship; to feel a man softly moving inside her body, was not about to be afforded the luxury. She, instead, had the disheveled look of a girl who'd had sex forced upon her. Mindy stood trembling uncontrollably and the fearful tears that rolled down her cheeks glistened in the porch-light. Her platinum hair that she so proudly wore like a mantle about her shoulders, looked like a rat's nest; rummaged and dirty. Mindy's blouse was torn at the sleeve and buttons were missing, forcing her to clutch at the fabric to keep it closed about her tiny breasts. She looked like a bundle of old rags.

"Mindy? Sweet Mother of Mary, whatever's happened?"

Mindy threw herself straight into the older women's arms. "Oh Auntie Leanne," she sobbed into Lee's neck, her body racked with convulsions. "It was so awful. Oh Jesus. I can't believe this has happened to me."

Lee, struck with horror, fought to steady her voice. "What dear? What was so awful?"

The question had to be asked but Lee was already sure of the answer, but still, she hoped. Lee held her niece tightly in her arms and stroked the back of the girl's head. Trying as best she could to comfort her.

Mindy took a moment to gather herself. "I've been raped."

"Raped!" Lee felt the outrage rise in her chest. Why couldn't it have been an auto wreck? She pulled back to look into Mindy's eyes. "Raped? What boy did this to you?"

Mindy couldn't meet the weight of Lee's penetrating glare. She let out a strangled wail and turned to the wall; leaning heavily for support with a cheek against the cool plaster. "It wasn't a boy," Mindy seemed to disintegrate and cried bitterly. "And there were three of them. Three men."

"Three." Lee felt her heart pitch and stepped closer, placing a hand between the girl's shoulder blades. "Three men did this to you?" Lee turned her head to look into the street, expecting to see a stranger's car; leering faces at the windows. But there was nothing but the swirl of darkness among the streetlamps; the moisture clinging to the grass.

"I'm not a virgin," Mindy started sliding towards the floor, "not now. Not anymore."

Lee caught her niece under the arms and pressed her into the wall. "Did they hurt you?" Lee's jaw hardened. It was a stupid question and she felt inept. "Do you need the hospital?" she tried.

Mindy groaned painfully. "I need the fucking morgue."

Lee had never heard her niece swear before. It was out of character for the sweet girl and the sharp hatefulness took Lee by surprise. She rallied: "Look Mindy. I need to know. Did they cum inside you? Any one of them?"

Mindy shuddered violently, like the men still had her. "Oh Jesus," she faultered. "Two of them did me in my mouth. I had to..." She was on the verge of collapse. "I had to..."
"And the other man?" Lee pushed.

"Oh Lord... He... He... Oh, I can't."

"Mindy. Listen now. This is important. Did he cum in you?"

"No."
"So you can't be pregnant."

"Oh Auntie Leanne," Mindy turned back into Lee's arms, sobbing. "I don't know... they all did me. All of them were inside. I couldn't stop them. Don't you understand?"

Lee kissed her niece on the side of the neck. "You did the right thing by coming to me, pumpkin. It's okay now. You're safe."

"I couldn't go home; mom would call the police. Everyone in town would find out."

Lee held Mindy closer; nuzzled her neck and was aware of a void opening in her loins. The girl's breath was sour and Lee closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Her body jolted and her breasts felt heavy and swollen. Her nipples ached. Her niece had been raped and she should have been horrified. But all Lee felt was this unmistakable heat; and she was burning-up with curiosity.

"Come into the kitchen and I'll fix us a drink. After, I'll call your mother; tell her you're with me and planning to spend the night. We'll make a nice dinner and talk things through. Figure out what's best."

Mindy threw her arms around Lee's neck. "Thank you Auntie Leanne. I can't tell you how much I love you." The sense of relief was evident in the young girl's voice. Her aunt would make things right again.

"Everything's going to be okay, pumpkin, you're with me now." Lee slipped an arm around the girl's waist and guided her to the kitchen. "I nice glass of whiskey, Bushmills. You'll feel better. Trust me."

 

It wasn't until Lee was seated across from Mindy that she realized that her niece had been terribly beaten. In the harsh florescent lights she saw the swelling on the side of Mindy's jaw and a vicious bite mark on her neck was still oozing. There was a smudge of blood on the girl's collar.

It was like a knife to her own heart. "Pumpkin." Lee touched Mindy's face and found herself moved by an unexpected emotional rush. "What have they done to you? Are you sure you're okay? I could call my doctor. She's very discrete."

"No. Please don't. I'm fine. Really... It's just that I fought in the beginning; and I shouldn't have. I should have just let them have what they wanted. But I couldn't; not at first. And then they started hitting me..."

Lee poured an ounce of whiskey into a small snifter and slid it across. "Drink that down. All of it. There was three of them?"

Mindy was too young to be much of a drinker but she swallowed the whiskey in two gulps and gagged on the burn. "Yes. Oh Christ... three. Two of them made me. And the other one... Oh Auntie Leanne, it was so disgusting."

Lee poured herself an Irish whiskey and squirmed. "Three of them..." She reached across with the bottle and recharged Mindy's glass. "And you haven't told anyone, besides me, I mean."

Mindy took another mouthful of whiskey. "I couldn't go home," she repeated.

"So what did they do to you?" Lee asked expectantly, and she tried desperately hard to mask her ill-conceived curiosity. "Did it hurt?"

Mindy abruptly buried her face in her hands. "It was just too awful, Auntie Leanne. I can never tell. Not to nobody." She choked on tears. "I'd rather die."

Lee fell back in her chair, disappointed and touched with a sense of shame. "Okay. Take it easy now. Everything will be fine. You're with me. Finish your whiskey and then I'll run you a hot bath, you can soak. I'll call your mother and let her know you're staying over. After, we'll make ourselves dinner."

Mindy quickly tilted her glass. She got to her feet, came around the end of the table and threw arms around Lee's neck: "You're the best, ever. I'm so sorry I brought this down on you but thank you for being here for me."

"Nonsense, child." And Lee lifted her face to kiss Mindy on the cheek. "You're the sweetest niece anyone could ask for; heavens, like my own child. You stay here with me for as long as you need to. Now let's see about getting you into a tub of water."

Lee ran the bath and watched her niece loosen her blouse. There was a second bite mark on the girl's shoulder, just by her bra strap and when Lee saw the swelling and the purplish bruising, she experienced a lonely gnawing in her chest and couldn't explain the tinge of excitement she felt lower down. "You'd better let me tend to those cuts after you bathe." She left Mindy with fresh towels and her spare robe.