Chapter One

 

The first time I saw my dorm room I felt this incredible relief. I had thought I'd be sharing a room with someone, maybe even two someones. And I like my privacy. Worse, what if I didn't like her? What if she was an overbearing bitch? What if she was annoying and stupid? Frankly, most people are, as far as I'm concerned.

See, you got assigned to dorms. You couldn't choose. And some of them are shared accommodation, and some aren't. As soon as I got the letter from Princeton I ran to the computer and did a google search on my dorm. I was relieved it was one of the dorms that had private rooms!

I was in Mathey College, which had triples. That is, it had three bedrooms with a 'common room' in the middle. The bedrooms were small, but cozy, and the common room had a fireplace and several desks and bookcases, as well as whatever else you brought in to decorate.

I like my privacy. In part, it's because I'm not very confident in dealing with people, and I like a place to retreat to where I can close myself off. I've always been like that. And I'm especially uncomfortable around girls. I'm kind of a nerd. I like science fiction and fantasy and video games and science, and am largely indifferent to things like popular fashion, celebrities, diets, hairstyles and that sort of thing.

I'm really quite boring. I know it, and that's one of the reasons why I don't push forward much. Don't get me wrong. I have my pride. I'm proud of the marks I get in school. I'm proud of being, well, a knowledgeable person. I read voraciously and always have, and not junky romances either.

Most of the girls - and guys - I've met seem to know so little about the world or its history. Though they know a lot about The Bachelor, or Survivor, or the batting averages of a whole team full of baseball players. They fill their heads with junk instead of real knowledge, and I guess I kind of look down on them for that.

People think I'm a snob, but I'm not really. I'm just not really comfortable in social situations because I feel kind of out of place. I don't get drunk and party, and I don't sleep with guys just to please them. Not that I get a lot of offers, since I don't get a lot of dates. Admittedly, I don't welcome most guys interest, again, because I'm doubtful of their intent.

Why are they bothering me, after all, a mousy little brunette, when there are all these big breasted beautiful blondes around showing their boobs off? Are they just pretending to be interested so they can taunt me in front of others? Excuse me, but if I don't know you, if you're not someone I've shared discussions with and spent some time learning about, why are you asking me out?

Is it because you think I'm the best you can do? You think one of those hot blondes won't be bothered with you so you're settling for me? You think I'll be grateful for the attention?

Now, you might be thinking I'm a bit paranoid, but there's a back story to it. I haven't had a lot of luck with guys. My experiences with them have mostly not been the most pleasant. All they seem to want is sex, and then for me to go away while they watch football or something.

Anyway, I spent some time decorating my room, making sure it was the perfect little retreat for me for next year. I had a big poster on the back of the door for Game of Thrones, and movie posters for Star Wars and Star Trek. I had my own little desk with my laptop on it, plus a makeup mirror so I could do my hair in the morning here and not fight for space with other girls in a bathroom.

I was in the process of putting up my glitterweb on the ceiling above the bed when someone came into the outer room. I felt a sense of anxiety right away as I heard voices. I hadn't closed the bedroom door, so I saw movement out there just before a blonde came into the doorway and saw me.

"Hey!" she said.

"Hey," I replied.

"I'm Taylor. I guess we're gonna be roommates."

I dropped my arms and then dropped off the step-stool a bit awkwardly to greet her.

"I'm Rin," I said.

"Rin? Cute name. Hi," she said.

She was pretty and outgoing, but seemed friendly enough. She had short blonde hair with bangs across her forehead, and was tall and athletic looking in shorts and t-shirt.

"I'm from California," she said.

Of course.

"I'm from Delaware."

She blinked as if surprised.

"I don't think I've ever met anyone from Delaware," she said. I'm not even sure where Delaware is."

"Roughly that way," I said, pointing.

She laughed.

"I'm taking Law," she said, surprising me.

"I'm taking Astrophysics," I replied.

"Woah. I guess you must be an egghead type."

"Uhm, I suppose."

Two 'adults' came into the room and she introduced them as her parents, then they backed out to continue unloading stuff into one of the other rooms. She started to go and I started to get back on my stool.

"What are you putting up there?" she asked curiously.

"My glitterweb," I replied. "It's got little LED lights so that when the lights are out it looks sort of like you're looking up at the starry sky."

"Oh cool! I can't wait to see it!" she said.

Then she joined her parents.

Well, she had seemed okay, I thought as I continued taking up the web. A bit... loud and outgoing for my taste, but I wouldn't have expected much less from a California blonde.

I finished putting it up and jumped down, then felt a bit uncertain. Should I stay here or would that be considered unfriendly? I should probably go out into the common room and see if I can help with anything.

Doing what you don't really want to do just so people don't think ill of you is what society is like and why I'm kind of an outsider. I don't like doing things just so people won't think ill of me. If I don't want to do them then I don't want to do them. But best get things off to a good start, right?

I went out into the common room to find Taylor's dad and some young guy with big shoulders lowering a big box onto the floor which had a picture of a filing cabinet on it. The young guy looked at me with interest. Well, I wasn't dressed for being seen by guys. I was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and they were sort of form fitting.

"This is Taylor's roommate Rin," Taylor's dad said. "This is her brother Dale."

"Hi," he said, holding out his hand.

I took it reluctantly. I don't like shaking hands with people. Plus he was looking at my tits, which is always kind of unnerving. That was why I usually wore clothes that kind of covered up better when I went out.

They pulled the box off the thing and it turned out to be a fridge. The fridge actually looked like an antique filing cabinet. But when they put it into place Taylor's dad opened the front to reveal it was a refrigerator.

"Taylor's addicted to Coke," Dale said.

"That's not very good for you," I said disapprovingly.

Taylor came out of her room just then.

"I don't care. Live well, die young and leave a beautiful corpse," she said.

"I intend to live well and die all wrinkled and old a hundred years or so from now," I replied. "Maybe on Mars."

"Mars?" Dale asked in amazement.

"Maybe we'll have a colony on Mars then."

He stared at me like he was confused, then he seemed to note I was wearing glasses, and I could almost see the wheels turning inside his skull and come up with 'nerd girl'.

Well, okay, I was.

Taylor insisted I look at her room. It was distressingly girly, done in lavender and pink, and already with a row of pictures of boys stuck onto the dresser mirror.

I left her to her parents for their farewells, and went back into my room and turned on the laptop to go on Facebook and tell my friends - my internet nerd girlfriends - that I'd arrived and set up shop, and included a picture I took of the room.

Then the third girl arrived. I knew because she opened the door and looked in, frowned at the room, frowned at me, then closed it. I went to the door and opened it to see her going into the third bedroom and looking around. She and two other black girls unloaded a pile of boxes into that room and then closed the door to set up.

I looked at Taylor, who was setting up a flat screen TV in the common room, then went over to see her.

"Her name is Jada," she said in a low voice. "She didn't seem much interested in talking."

"She didn't seem very happy to see me," I said in the same low voice.

She shrugged. "Fuck her. Hey, you want to get expanded cable?"

"How much is it?"

"Three hundred. One hundred each of the three of us split on it."

"Okay."

I glanced at the closed door. "Think Jada will split?"

She shrugged.

"Can we get Netflix and Home box office?"

"With expanded cable."

I looked at her as she fiddled with the remote for the TV. She didn't look like a lawyer. I mean, I looked like a nerd girl. She looked like... I don't know, a playboy playmate or an actress or a model or something.

"You don't look like a lawyer," I said.

"What's a lawyer look like?"

I frowned uncertainly. "I don't know. Uhm, very stern and conservative and such I guess."

She laughed. "I'm not that."

"So why do you want to be a lawyer?"

"Because lawyers are in charge. I like being in charge."

"So I take it you're bossy?" I asked.

She grinned. I like getting my own way," she replied.

The other door opened as we were talking about what exactly astrophysics entailed, and the black girls all came out. Jada locked the bedroom door, and they all left.

"Friendly bunch," Taylor said.

"How should we decorate this place?" Taylor asked.

"Well, something that looks appropriate in a high quality legal office," I said.

She gave me a look, then smiled. "My mother insisted on the lavender bedspread and pillows," she said.

I was a bit startled she understood me that quickly.

"Something cozy, but... restrained."

She got up.

"Come with me."

I got up and followed her into her bedroom, where she slid open the closet door.

"Does this look restrained?"

She liked... colorful clothing. There were lots of reds and bright blues and greens, and even some silvers. Not much dark except black dresses with short skirts.

I pursed my lips, then headed for my room. She followed, and I opened my closet.

She looked at it a moment. "Got a flashlight. It's very dark. I can't see much in there."

"Ha, ha," I said.

My color choices were primarily darker. There were lots of browns, blacks, grays, and darker greens. I'm shorter than her but my skirts and dresses looked longer. She pulled aside several hangars, examining the sweaters and tops and jackets, then looked at the scarves on the door. I like scarves, long ones I can wrap around my neck and dangle down the front.

"I don't think we'll be borrowing each other's clothes much," she said.

"No, I don't think so either."

We were getting along reasonably well. Then Jada came back from seeing her friends off. She scowled at us as we came out of my room, then unlocked her door and went inside, before closing and locking it.

Taylor rolled her eyes and went over to the fridge.

"An empty fridge is kind of a waste of electricity," she said.

"I'm not sure where you buy groceries or such."

"I'm sure someone knows. I'd like to have some snacks, not to mention beer."

"I thought you wanted Coke."

"Well, what was I supposed to say to my parents? Let's go look around and find out."

"Let me put some clothes on."

"You're naked? You don't look like a naked girl to me," she said, reaching out and gripping the waist of my sweatshirt.

"I don't wander around outside in sweatpants and a sweatshirt," I said a little uncomfortably.

"Why ever not?"

"I just... don't."

I hurried into my room and closed the door, then quickly slipped off the sweatshirt and sweatpants and grabbed a pair of khaki trousers. Then the door opened and Taylor stuck her head in.

"I'm just going to go ask along our floor and see if anyone knows," she said.

I flushed red and nodded as she pulled back and closed the door.

I was definitely not used to having anyone see me in my underwear! Even if it was a girl!

You see, I am proud of my body, in a way. I mean, I can see what I look like in the mirror. I can see how that compares to other girls and to models and even porn starts on the internet. I have a pretty decent body. I'm slim, but have a nice butt, curvy hips, flat stomach, and pretty nice breasts. Nothing to be ashamed of there, in other words.

I even take a kind of secret delight in it, in imagining guys seeing me, imagining I'm flaunting myself naked, like as a stripper or something. I like being sexually attractive, even if I'm not that into sex. And I wear thongs and cute, sexy bras.

At that moment I was wearing a black thong, a very small black thong with a tiny 'pouch' that was held in place by slim black strings that angled up across my hips and then in back to the small, upside down triangle of fabric at the top of my buttocks.

The bra matched, and was a half-bra, with lacy fringes. It was kind of... sexual, and my sexuality was my secret, and not something I readily shared with strangers. Taylor wasn't a stranger, but I wasn't exactly close to her either.

But oh well. I would have to remember that not everyone shared my family's iron rule of knock before entering! At least I wasn't naked!

I pulled on a forest green blouse, tucked it into my khaki pants, then pulled on a loose sweater before leaving - locking the door behind me, and then going out into the hall to find Taylor.

I walked along the hall, gazing about. Lots of the doors were open as girls - and guys - were moving in. I felt a bit like a voyeur peeping into strangers rooms, but was anxious to find her. I spotted her, then, in a common room of another triplet, talking to a redhead. I wandered in and she introduced me as her roommate. The girl she was talking to was called Brady, and she was second year, so knew where stuff was.

We went back into the hall and walked down the stairs. Campbell Hall, the dorm we lived in, was a three story Gothic structure done in gray stone. It looked like it could be centuries old, but the plaque out front put it at about 150 years or so. It had a faintly musty air, but I liked it.

It was also nice walking and talking with Taylor, who was not exactly the kind of girl I usually hung around with. And since all we were talking about was Princeton and classes and what to do and where to go buy stuff and what it was going to be like, and a bit about ourselves, I didn't experience that usually sense of not being on the same wavelength as I often did with girls.

Mind you, it didn't take very long before she was calling me 'nerd girl', though she said it in a friendly way.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" I asked.

"I don't have boyfriends. I have chew toys," she replied.

I blinked at that.

"What? I'm supposed to restrict myself to having fun with one person, and only when they're available? Why would I do that? Sex? I can have sex all I want. I don't need to have a boyfriend for that."

"Yeah but... that's kind of a risk, isn't it?" I said

"Sure. They might be really shitty in bed, or have a tiny dick, or just be assholes. Life is risk, nerd girl. But all you've wasted then is one evening."

"Well, you could get a reputation," I said hesitantly.

She snorted. "I'm blonde and I look like this," she said, throwing her arms out. "Okay, I don't have big tits, but it was still inevitable I'd have a reputation. Even guys I hardly knew bragged that they slept with me in high school."

I nodded my understanding. Guys lied a lot.

"What about you, Nerd girl? You've got a pretty nice body under all those layers. You have a boyfriend?"

I flushed at the reminder she'd seen me practically naked.

"Boys tend to be... annoying," I said.

"Duh."

"I mean, mostly all they want is sex and then to be left alone while they play football or go do drinking games with their buds."

"I hear ya," she said. "I like sports so it isn't so bad, but still. They're pretty one track. And that's why I just have chew toys and not boyfriends. I can have a chew toy for the evening and not give a shit where he is the next day. There's always more chew toys available if I want one."

I laughed. "I guess. "I'm not as.... outgoing as you."

"You mean slutty."

"No, I mean outgoing. Guys aren't going to flock around me like they are you, and I'm not really very... brave about... approaching them."

"Are you sure? Maybe you just don't read the signals very well. Because you're exactly the kind of girl guys flock around."

"What!?"

"Yeah. You got that nerd girl librarian look to you. All you have to do is whip off your glasses and take your hair out of a bun and you're suddenly a kinky sexual animal!"

"I don't wear my hair in a bun," I said, blushing.

She laughed.

"My problem is a lot of the nicer guys are too intimidated to approach me," she said. "The arrogant assholes will, because they're conceited. But the nicer guys will go for you."

"Isn't that just a way of saying the hot, sexy guys will go for you and the timid ones for me?" I asked dryly.

She grinned. "Well, there is that."

We got bags of mostly junk food and then she called a cab because she wanted to bring a couple of cases of beer as well. Getting it all up the stairs was easy because Taylor just sort of commandeered two guys who were coming in and mostly ordered them to carry our beer for us!

The crazy thing was they agreed! Happily! Fuck, it must be nice to be a sexy blonde! She flirted with them a little as we went up the stairs, got their names and gave them each a beer as a reward.

"What?" she said as I shook my head.

"You're really something."

She snorted. "Sexual power, baby. Use it while you got it."

"I think you have more than me."

"No, I'm just using it. You're hiding it under all that," she said, sweeping a finger across my scarf so it swept across my shoulder.

I tugged it back down.

"I'm not used to... uhm... I mean... showing off."

"There's a difference between showing off and hiding," she said as she put beer in the fridge. "I'm not walking around with my tits hanging out but hey, I don't need to hide the fact I have them."

She looked at my chest. "You neither. You have nice boobs."

"My mom said a girl should be known by her personality and not her body."

She blew a raspberry. "They say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but you know what, if the cover isn't nice, and there's lots of other books there, most people will just let their eyes skim across it and pick up some other book with a nicer cover to leaf through. Then it doesn't matter how nice the story is inside."

Which, I suppose, wasn't wrong... necessarily.