Valerie
By David Weaver
She waited until the waitress had cleared their places and refilled their drinks before
she answered, “Yes. I don’t want to go into details, but it happens. I’m still not sure
how to explain it or why it works that way. I’ve heard the theories and I’m not conscious
of fitting into any of them. I just know that there have been times when Rachael has had
me in tears because what was happening was so repulsive to me, yet I was turned on by it
and actually reached orgasm from something repulsive.”
“You were in tears and she did not stop!”
Rachael took over, “Let me see if I can put this into words. When we play, Giggy chooses
to give up a lot of power or control to me, knowing that I may do unpleasant or painful
things. Sometimes I think she wants me to force her to go beyond her own preset limits.”
Giggy nodded vigorously. “That’s why we have safe words. They allow the sub and dom to
go places they could not go if they relied on only the external reactions. So she can be
bawling and begging me to stop, but I know, since there was no safe word, that she really
wants to be forced even farther than we’ve gone. It took me a year to totally trust
Giggy’s willingness to use her safe word when it was needed. Now I trust that implicitly.
The only things that I will stop for now are her safe words, my own limits of comfort and
if she passes out. That happened once. She had gotten the flu and it became systematic
in the middle of the scene. Her stressed body passed out before she realized what was
happening.”
Rachael asked, “Have you been experiencing desires for things you don’t normally like?”
“Yes.” Valerie hesitated to tell the couple just what that was for fear of offending
them.
“Was it to be forced into lesbian sex?”
Embarrassment and shock covered her face. She avoided answering for a few minutes by
getting out her card and signaling that she was ready to pay. Once they were alone again,
she answered, “Yes. I’m really sorry.”
Rachael reached over and took her hand, “You have nothing to be sorry about. We’ve
talked enough to know you’re not repulsed by us. That you aren’t thrilled with our
version of sex isn’t an insult, it just is. Both of us are repulsed by the idea of sex
with a guy. Does that insult you?”
By now, Val was crying softly, “No. I just don’t want to hurt you two. You’re such nice
people who are helping me through something hard.”
Giggy reached over as well, “I’d like to think we’re nice people too. So are you. It
speaks volumes that you were so concerned about hurting our feelings. I think we could
become close friends if we kept in touch.”
“Yeah. Me too. Can I ask some more questions?”
“Fire away.”
“Why pain? I mean, why was pain such a turn on that one time. It wasn’t ‘fun’ but it
was erotic. How can that be?”
Giggy answered, “I think it’s different for different people. For me, the pain is how I
know I’ve given over control. I could NEVER ask Rachael to hurt me. But by allowing her
to do so when she wishes, I let her know, and me as well, that I have truly given up
control to her. There have been a couple of times when I wasn’t in a place where I could
give up that much and I safe worded at the pain.”
“And I respect that.” Rachael continued, “Each day, our comfort levels change about
everything. Some days I can watch CSI and not get sick to my stomach. Other days, I know
I’ll lose it if I even see one of their dead bodies. It’s the same with playing. We’re
not always ready and able to go so far as on other days.”
Giggy picked right back up, “That’s why you have to be able to trust your instincts as
well as those of your dom. It’s better to safe word too early than to let it go too far
and get hurt emotionally or physically. By the way, the emotional hurts take longer to
heal.”
Valerie sighed. “I guess the last question is where do I go from here? I want more. I
know that. I’m not sure where to go. Do I go back to Charles? I’ve done some research
on him and while a very private person, he has a reputation for honesty and integrity in
business. There does not seem to be anything about him and the lifestyle that I can find
on the internet.”
“I’m not surprised by that.” Rachael responded, “While we know that being into BDSM is
not a sign of a depraved mind, the vanilla world out there still has misconceptions. If
you want to know how he plays, you’ll have to talk to some of those he plays with. If he
goes to clubs, that will be a little easier. If he only plays in private, then you may
have trouble there. A rep for honesty and integrity is a good start. Must untrustworthy
people can’t keep up an honest front for very long. I should warn you, though, the
lifestyle can be somewhat protective. You’ll have to earn the trust of the club goers
first if you expect them to talk about a prominent member. The fastest way to do that is
to show that you are into the scene. That would mean playing with someone on site at a
club. The only part of on site play that will be dangerous for you is your noviceness.
You likely don’t have the instincts yet to know when to stop.”
“Oh God! I wouldn’t even know where to start. How do you go to a club and let someone
know you want to play?”
“There are several ways. Rachael and I sometimes go to clubs to pick up new techniques
and ideas. Some of the play is in public as opposed to in private rooms. You can show up
wearing traditional sub accoutrements with no date. That says you might be looking for a
scene. If you want to be really brazen, there’s one club that allows subs to auction
themselves off for charity. It’s done up like a slave auction and the winner gets to play
with the sub, on site only, unless agreed to otherwise, for the rest of the night. If
you’re looking to build trust within the community, that would be the fastest way to do
it.”
Rachael was watching Valerie while Giggy talked and noticed that she had become visibly
aroused during the description of the sub auction. She discreetly motioned for Giggy to
keep quiet for a moment as Val wrestled with her feelings.
And wrestle she did. Valerie could not believe how fast her pussy responded to the idea
of being bid on by who knows how many men for the right to use her any way they wanted.
This was such an incredible turn on. That arousal warred with the fear. A total
stranger! Anything he wanted! How could she think about such a thing. But it gnawed at
her. She wanted this. She wanted to know what such submission was like. The more she
thought, the more aroused she became (her toys were going to get a work out tonight).
Realizing that she had made up her mind before Giggy had finished, she asked, “What club
and on what night?”
“The Mephisto club. Slave auction is every fourth Saturday. This Saturday is the next
one. I take it you’re interested?”
“Yes. I’m frightened and aroused by the thought at the same time. Does that sound
weird?”
Giggy laughed, “No, that sounds normal, for a new sub.”
Rachael, more serious, said, “I don’t think you should go there alone. It can be
overwhelming. If someone sees that you are alone and a novice, they might try to pressure
you to leave for the scene. We don’t want that to happen. Come by the store at 7:00 and
we’ll be getting off and we’ll accompany you there and make sure you get home afterwards.
Take a cab. You will not likely be in a condition to drive and you don’t now us well
enough to accept a ride home from us. Oh, you’ll want to wear something scandalous under
a coat and bring a change of clothes for the trip home. Finally, it will be much more
intense and fun if you don’t have any sex of any kind between now and then. A desperate
sub is a more responsive sub.” She finished with a smile.
“I can’t thank you both enough. You’ve been so nice and helpful. Thank you, thank you.
I’ll see you both at 7:00 on Saturday.”
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