Sweet girl,
We’ve talked extensively about D/s relationships and how they differ from the only model
in Middle-American Culture for adult relationships… marriage. We’ve also spoken about the
many responsibilities a Dominant has and the types of service a sub performs. One of those
types of service is sexual.
Since your questions are becoming more detailed, I will explain.
You’ve confessed your raging promiscuity, but you’ve found it so unsatisfying to the
point you would give up sex altogether…at 23…as if that were possible. You claim at your
tender age, there must be 50 in your past, although you’ve lost count. While that’s not
impossible, I’m considering it improbable given what I know of you. I suspect you’ve
included stolen kisses and dates to the dance in that tally.
While any one with fully formed genetalia can get laid, sexual service is a very
different thing. You might lay down with someone in Vanillaville because you’re bored,
you’re lonely, you’re turned on. You might actually ‘be in love’ but as we’ve discussed,
the term ‘in love’ describes a temporary emotion fueled by sexual arousal. When the
arousal fades after months or years, the feeling of being ‘in love’ evaporates, also.
The purpose of the act no longer exists.
But your service to your Dom has many forms…and it is He who gives you purpose. I don’t
expect to have to order you to serve by taking out the trash, running the sweeper, or
balancing the checkbook. You are an intelligent, educated woman who can see what needs
done and simply do it.
Actually, the fact that you’ve experienced so much sexually with so much dispassion gives
Me hope, girl.
The bare facts are this - In Vanillaville, you see someone you’re sexually attracted to
and that creates an emotional response. Those emotions, which range from fear and loathing
to adoration and love, may last long enough to get laid, they may endure for a period of
time long enough to get married.
Within the Scene, it’s the physical activities in which we participate that create the
emotional responses…which may be fleeting, or which may endure. Those emotions range from
fear and loathing to adoration and love.
The difference is simple. In the Scene, these emotions don’t just happen, they are
created. Rather than succumb to something physical which often creates unwanted emotions,
we begin, and continue, with a purpose.
The concept of sexual service is very similar to what you’ve already experienced.
Willingly, you’ve given your body over to those who would use it for their gratification.
Considering this is such a concern to you, I suspect you were expecting something in
return. What you expected as a return on the investment you made, I dare guess. Obviously,
that return never materialized.
Were you hoping to earn his respect from something purely physical, baby?
Respect doesn’t reside on a material plane. Maybe you thought you were so good he’d want
to see you again. There are a lot of sweet flowers in the field, honey. He just wants to
taste all of them. I have to wonder if you even experienced any physical gratification in
these encounters, and perhaps that’s what’s left you so demoralized.
Or maybe you were in love. Have you come to understand that sex isn’t love - that
sometimes it’s just sex? Or must you continually place meaning on even the most fleeting
encounter?
If that’s the case, then I truly have hope for you. I want there to be meaning in
everything you do for Me, whether it’s taking out the trash, or you’re in front of Me,
lying in My lap while you’re being fucked from behind.
I want you to remember that everything you do will be for Me … and no one else. If I tie
you down and open you for another Man, baby, it’s because he’s important to Me. I don’t
need you to be appreciative of the fact that of all the choices I had to offer a friend, I
chose you. All I need is for you to be with Me ... whether I’m physically present, or in
your heart so deep, that the Man currently using you is a blur.
The ways you are going to express this to Me will be very obvious, honey. I mean to take
control of your sexuality, which means I build the paradigm within which you are permitted
to express yourself. You will keep nothing from Me, no thought, no pain, no pleasure,
baby. And you will do it within those time frames which I allow.
Obviously, when we begin to expand your horizons with others, you will most likely be
bound, blindfolded, and gagged to prevent those very emotional responses from being
expressed physically. It will help you maintain your focus where it should be … on Me.
Please remember that My decision for you to serve others could be years away, if at all.
I believe you understand that the pursuit we’re beginning isn’t sexual - to Me your
sexuality is only a tool I use to control you. Your natural sexual responses, and the
behavior you’ve learned to date, are something I mean to focus…on Me…for our mutual
benefit.
I mean to use, to enjoy, and to simply feed on all of you, woman.
But getting to a place where your total focus is on Me can be very difficult for a young
woman. There’s no doubt in My mind that girls just wanna have fun. I require something
very different. Finding focus isn’t entertaining in any definition, but the results are
commensurate with the effort, I assure you.
Because I don’t know you well you enough to know what kind of control you are going to
respond to favorably, I can’t decide if you will be denied orgasm, or it will be forced on
you. Because these events have the power to effect you emotionally, I will control them to
get the responses I want from you.
Obviously, I reward the responses I want, and punish that which I find unfavorable.
I don’t want you to be afraid of punishment, either. I want you to embrace it as a
vehicle for growth. Whether you’ve offended Me, or you’ve merely screwed something up,
we’ll correct it. If I notice continuing thought patterns that cause you to go astray,
we’re gonna get serious, girl. We’ll get some serious psychological intervention from a
professional to see if you’re even suited for this Lifestyle.
Before any of that can happen, you have to want Me, and you have to want what I’m
offering. I mean to take total control of you physically and emotionally, over a period of
time, and I mean to control your thought processes to the point that they benefit our
family. Although you can’t possibly know what any of this means because you don’t have the
experience, I want to make you to be aware of this intellectually, at the very least.
We both make choices to proceed – until we make serious commitments, or abandon that
which is hopeless, anyway.
Sleep well, baby, and not to worry. Giving yourself over to Me doesn’t have to be
traumatic. It might be the most peaceful, serene thing you could have never imagined.
Master
Michael peered over the paper to see her shaking, her tears about to break free. He moved
only to replace the paper when he saw other print-outs in the drawer. Removing those, he
noted they were bits of IM conversations. Touched by her devoted study of his concepts, he
pulled her against his thigh. He continued to read:
Hopelesslyslutty: Master, are you there? MASTER!!! God, Sir, you leave me breathless
Bound4Me: Hi, baby, turn on the cam and lay the tits on the desk. Tell Me what you’ve
choked on
Hopelesslyslutty: No, Master, not choked. You just invade me, Sir. I don’t know how else
to say it.
Bound4Me: Tell Me what you understand about the letter
Hopelesslyslutty: Ohhh
Hopelesslyslutty: Oh, Sir – You require your cunt to save those very individual sexual
responses for You, Sir, and You alone.
Bound4Me: Yes, baby, yes, I believe you’re beginning to understand. I am very pleased. I
think you’ve whored around enough to know that without an emotional connection, you don’t
achieve orgasm, do you?
Hopelesslyslutty: You are correct, Sir.
Bound4Me: They’re done long before you are, and they don’t give a shit, baby. They got
what they want. It’s the emotional content that fuels orgasm, honey, even if it’s as base
as lust. And if you’re not emotionally connected to your lover, you’re not gonna get off.
Neither is he. Even rapists have emotional content fueling their actions.
Hopelesslyslutty: I do understand that, Sir.
Bound4Me: Then you can also understand, then, that when you service other Males it’s just
that, honey. There is absolutely no shame in being a servant, and certainly no shame in
being a valuable servant. Your heart and soul belongs to Me, and the flesh will express
only what’s in your heart. If you’re cumming with other Men, we have a problem.
Hopelesslyslutty: Master – Master, please, please let me be with You
Bound4Me: you think you’re ready for Me, don’t you, baby?
Hopelesslyslutty: i…I can’t control this any longer. It eats me from the inside out,
Sir.
Bound4Me: Perhaps it is time, then. Let’s find out. Saturday, darling – at the stroke of
noon. 3829 Broadway. At the corner of Park Avenue. You will walk barefoot from your
apartment to My house, in a sundress, no underwear, sweetheart. Your desire is to express
your openness and availability to Me. Underwear gets in the way.
Hopelesslyslutty: I certainly understand that, Sir. I can’t tell you how much I
appreciate this.
Bound4Me: you’ve done well so far, sweetheart. You’ve been very dutiful about stretching
the nipples and opening the cunt for Me every night. You’ve written every essay I’ve
wanted, you’re doing very well with the journal, which keeps Me abreast of what you’re
thinking. I think you’re probably masturbating more than you report in your journal, but
that’s one of those things we’re going to correct.
Hopelessslutty: you would punish that, Sir?
Bound4Me: Unauthorized masturbation is something that falls into the First, Second, and
Third offence categories. There isn’t a Fourth category because if a woman still needs to
masturbate after she’s suffered a Level Three punishment, I’m not gonna break her of it.
We move on.
Hopelesslyslutty: Deal breaker, Sir?
Bound4Me: Yes, honey, that’s a deal breaker. If she can’t come to Me to express how
desperate she is for some physical gratification, and be willing to experience it in the
most humiliating way I can think of, or be denied by being placed in bondage to help her
gain some focus, or punished brutally in as many ways I can think of, then we don’t have
much of a relationship, anyway. It indicates she’s been playing head games with Me instead
of being real.
Hopelesslyslutty: Am I permitted to say I ache for You, Sir?
Bound4Me: Yes, baby, you’re allowed to make Me want you
Her disjointed energy boiled next to him as he replaced the paper to the drawer. Thrilled
with the feel of her submission, he pulled back the sheet on the bed and let her lie down.
Concerned for her now, he held her firmly, pinching a nipple. Remembering the woman he’d
disciplined this evening, he freely offered, “Other Doms like to watch their girls get it
on, you know. Very stimulating, but I think it gives the girls the wrong impression. It
gives them the impression that they can enjoy themselves without their Master. I not only
don’t expect that of them, I don’t allow it, honey. I maintain control of how they express
themselves and to whom.”
Spellbound by his presence, she closed her lips and swallowed. “I do want that,” she
whispered.
“I’ll take that control a little at a time, because I’m looking you over for long
term-service. Maybe life long, who knows? Doing it in your bedroom is a lot different than
doing it with me.”
“Yes, it is.”
Quietly, he raised her, his mouth to a nipple. Gently, he held it between his teeth as he
brushed the surface with his tongue. Without warning, he simply scooped her against his
body. “I need a lot more surface here, sweetheart, and that will be painful getting
another half inch in depth and girth.”
“Oh, Master, no,” she whispered as she clung a little tighter.
Firmly, he grasped her ribcage and held her away. “But now you know why we need those
nipples, honey. They are tools to control your sexuality, nothing more.”
Her expression contorted a moment to think of her nipples as tools. Not yet
understanding, her eyes slid shut as he stroked them to fury again.
“It’s you I want, baby. All of this flesh is, to me, merely a means to reach you. I want
your heart, I want your soul. I want your devotion and your unconditional surrender. I
want to be able to depend on you.”
“Am I learning, Master?” she gasped ready to break into tears again.
“I’m very pleased,” he said gently.
Her expression melted into serenity as her lips parted. Comfortably reclined in her own
bed, she asked, “May I pleasure you, Master?”
Broadly, he smiled at the concept that she could even try. “No. That’s not to say you
never will, only to say that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to take control of you…as you
release it to me. I’m here to illustrate that I’m capable of that control, and as you feel
continually safer, we’ll get where we need to be.”
Disappointed, she crossed her arms over her chest.
“You’re not my whore, honey. I’m training you to slavery, a very different thing. So if
you read my letter every night, do you also lay here and jack off?”
Chagrined, she turned her head away. “Yes, Sir. It’s so hard. I want to be with you so
bad.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. But now that we’ve gotten to spend some time together,
I hope the difference between squandering yourself, and delivering yourself to me is a
little clearer.”
“Yes,” she said quickly with a smile. “I want to be everything that turns you on…truly,
Sir.”
Gently, his fingers threaded through her hair to sooth her. “I mean to own you, girl. I
mean to take total control of you but it doesn’t have to be traumatic, honey. It just
takes time. Are you comfortable?”
“Oh yes, Master. It’s wonderful to have you here.”
“Let’s try a little exercise,” he said. Kicking off his shoes, he laid next to her
forcing her to the middle of the bed. With her back to his chest and her breasts in his
hand, he said, “I want you to show me how you do it when you’re alone.”
“Master, I can’t do that with you here.”
“You’ve done it eighteen times on cam for me, honey. What’s the difference?”
Cringing into him she whispered, “No, Master, I can’t. It’s happened twice already
today.”
“It happened twice. Now you’re going to take control of it by my command. Open the legs,
pull all of that lovely flesh back to give me the clit, and stroke it, girl.”
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