I came to, feeling the hoarseness in my throat. Strong arms were wrapped around my body.
I fought them off. I thought I was still trapped in the dream. That happened from time
to time. As I struggled, his arms pulled my hair out of my face, and stroked my cheeks
gently.
“Easy baby, it’s me. Shhhh” he said as I struggled with him more and fought my eyes
opened. Doug was in my bed, sitting, cradling my body in his arms. He was wearing only a
silky pair of boxers. As the shock of the nightmare wore away, tears flooded my eyes. He
rocked me, cooing at me. “Shhh, kitten, I’m here, you’re alright. You’re safe. I’ll
never leave you again. I’m so sorry, baby girl. I love you.” All the while, he kept
rocking and stroking my hair. I sobbed into his chest, shaking. “It was just a
nightmare, sweetheart, just a nightmare.”
When I calmed down a bit, he slowed his rocking. Probably, the violent rocking
sensation was giving him sea-sickness. I giggled.
“From crying to laughing? Are you ok, kitten?” he asked with a grin. The light from
the hallway provided enough illumination to see his face.
“Sorry,” I say in a hoarse whisper, “I just wondered if you’d given yourself
motion-sickness.” He laughed heartily, and squeezed me tighter. It felt good to be safe
in his arms. I looked at the clock, 6am. He held me close in his arms. I breathed him
in. He smelled like his soap, and like sleep; warm and comfortable. I rubbed my cheek
against his chest. After a long while, he stretched his legs out.
“Sorry kitten, but da….ugh, my legs are getting numb” he said. I stretched with him and
curled up into his side. He wrapped his arm around me as I lay my head on his chest. His
other hand ran through my hair. He massaged my scalp with his fingers while he played
with my hair. His breathing was even and calm; I felt soothed just by his presence. I
went back to rubbing my cheek against his chest. He felt good. I breathed him in and
couldn’t help myself as I traced my lips along the same path my cheek had taken. He held
his breath. My eyes met his, and I saw the passion and fury there. Had it always been
there? I held my breath as he rolled me onto my back, lying beside me, and he leaned his
body over mine. He watched me intently, as he brought his lips to mine, brushing lightly
and pulling away. Suddenly, it felt like I had been running. His eyes softened as a
smile spread across his mouth. I traced my finger along his lips, wanting more kisses but
too afraid to tell him that. He kissed my fingers and held them to his cheek. “Why are
we playing this game, baby-doll?” he whispered.
I held still for a long time. It was the first time he acknowledged what was happening
between us. I didn’t want to experience this magic, if it was going to magically
disappear once we passed over the threshold of my house. “I’m afraid” was all I could
manage.
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