By Ken Haramiru
This is an excerpt, and is 1/10th the length of the
“real” edition. The first chapter has
been massively abbreviated, and the second chapter is presented in its
entirety. The paid edition contains the full length
35,000 word story.
software magnate Linus Ritchie was bored of doing things with his fortune. He'd
graduated from college in 1990, released his new Kernux
operating system, and seized the upper hand in the operating system market
within a year. By the mid-90s, most of
his competitors were out of business and his only competition was from the
open-source community - which he wisely kept on his side by prioritizing on
inter-operability between his system and theirs. Linus eventually grew so rich and bored that
he began amusing himself by making anonymous posts on message boards from time
to time. He usually made short posts which asked simply, “What would you do with a billion
most interesting respondents were hunted down and actually awarded a billion
dollars. Their ideas didn't have to be particularly good uses for a billion
dollars, just interesting enough to tickle Linus’s whim. Each recipient received a billion dollars,
and was followed around by a film crew for as long as the viewing audience
found their story interesting. Winning
candidates rarely accomplished their goals, but Linus didn’t care; his interest
was, as he put it, “strictly for the lulz”. As an investment in amusement and hi jinks, his money had never been mis-spent yet.
Chapter 1: More Money than Anyone Needs
1st, This Year
morning, I was in my cubicle at work, waiting for a test run of my software to
finish thrashing through its paces. As
usual, I was killing time by browsing Kriegslist
while sipping coffee, when I spotted yet another “What would you do with a
billion dollars?” post. I’d taken to
answering them lately, more to amuse the others on the thread than any other
reason. I started to post that I’d
create the world’s first all-squirrel zoo and circus, but then realized I’d
already posted that one last week.
Instead, I posted the following:
“I’ll use it to get more women pregnant than any man
before me. By Darwin’s standards, I’ll
be the most successful man who ever lived!”
finger hovered over the send button, pondering whether or not
to send it for a few seconds since I was posting it from work. Finally, I concluded that I really didn’t
give much of a rip at this point. If they wanted to complain that I made an anonymous, slightly
inappropriate posting from work, they could hunt up another code monkey in this
job seeker’s market who was willing to pull 10-hour days.
Naturally, of course, I won. And this
excerpt skips most of that and cuts straight to the workplace shenanigans which ensued.
Chapter 2: Interviewing Julie
plugged my laptop in at my boss’s desk, and wasn't particularly surprised to
see that my corporate messenger was going off the charts now. Just about everyone
in the company had tried to message me, and a lot of them were already asking
for money or a chance to be on TV. I shook my head and started to delete
I paused when I saw the message from Julie.
Hers didn’t ask anything about money - it asked, “Can I have your first
blinked in shock as Julie gave me what I saw as concrete proof that money was
the only aphrodisiac which really mattered. I’d lusted after Julie for as long as I’d
worked there, but she and I had just never seemed to connect. I wasn’t sure what she had going on in her
life, but it was apparently no longer an obstacle. Yes, I was going to fuck her, I
resolved. She’d just shown by only
chasing me once I was rich, that she wasn’t
relationship material - but I was totally going to get her pregnant.
the southern girl, had sent a steamier message.
She promised to do things with me which went
well beyond procreation, and bordered on the realm of the perverse. Her messages made me resolve never to visit a
farm with her, but I was just fine with getting her pregnant too.
picked up Frank’s phone and called an attorney help line
which Mr. Rausch had left me, and quickly ended up in a video chat with
a matter-of-fact British blonde woman named Jane. Jane had already been briefed on my
situation, and she’d already prepared an agreement for the mothers to
sign. It included optional visitation
rights, an up-front lump-sum child support agreement, and the grant of media rights to Linus
Ritchie’s organization. Those rights
included, but were not limited to, videos of the conception. I was red-faced with embarrassment as she
went step by step through the contract on a video conference and described the
video rights, royalties from porn sites, etc, which
would be handled through Mr. Ritchie’s media empire, with a small share going
back to the mother. Less than thirty
seconds after signing off from the video call, a copy of the contract was in my
personal email folder.
loaded up the contract, then hit the print button on my laptop and set it for a
few copies. Then I got up, squared my
shoulders, took a deep breath, and opened the office door. I was held up by a few co-workers along the
way, and by the time I made it to the printer, Julie was waiting next to it and
holding a copy of the contract in her hand.
I'd forgotten that, as an administrative assistant, her desk was right
next to the printer.
reddish-brown hair ran went down her back in a flowing river, beautifully
framing her oval-shaped Caucasian face and brown eyes which
always seemed to sparkle with the hint of an impending smile. She wore a mid-length black skirt and a
simple, professional white button-up shirt.
Normally she wore it buttoned up all the way, but somehow the top three
or four buttons had come undone, revealing a substantial amount of
cleavage. “Oh hi, Jim”, she said. “I saw you printed these out, and I was going
to bring them to you!”
blushed a little, holding my hand out for the contracts. “Thanks, Julie”, I sort of
mumbled as she handed them to me.
“Oops”, she said.
“I think I might have gotten some ink on that one on the bottom.” She grinned as I lifted up the form and
looked at it, seeing her name filled out completely.
looked up at her, smiling as I did so.
“You don't waste time on ‘subtle’, do you?”, I
was now Julie’s turn to blush. “Sorry,
it’s just that you’re right here in front of me now, and I really want to be
your first. I hope I haven’t offended
you, though”, she said.
paused for a second and thought things over, then nodded in the direction of
Frank’s office. “Follow me, and we’ll
discuss whether I'm offended or not.”
followed me over to the office, her body language tense with a combination of
nervousness and enthusiasm. I closed and
locked the door behind us, then I walked over to my
chair and sat down. Julie was clearly
nervous, unconsciously wringing her hands as she stood in front of my desk.
“Julie, there are two kinds of opportunities in my
organization. One kind is for, well,
nodded quickly, grinning her head off.
It was uncanny how excited she seemed to be about this.
“I also have a few openings for office workers. I need someone to handle my affairs,
scheduling, etc. And from what I've seen
over the last couple of years, you’re one of the best administrative assistants
here. Would you be interested? I'll pay you double whatever it is that you
eyes widened. “Work for you?”, she squeaked.
rolled my eyes. “Julie, quit acting like I'm suddenly some rock star. I'm the same guy
you've known for two years now. If I
wasn’t interesting for the last two years, I shouldn’t be leaving you
held up her hands. “I'm sorry, Jim. It's just that I've watched the Ritchie
reality shows for years now, and I fantasized about something like this
happening for me. I'll try to stop
acting like you're suddenly a billionaire or something.” She smiled at the end.
shrugged. “Well, as it just so happens,
it seems that I am. So, are you
interested in the job? Mr. Ritchie insists
that I need to get started as soon as possible.”
face turned a bright beet-red before she asked, “Can I have both jobs?”
“Both?”, I asked.
held up her signed contract. “Can I have your baby and work for you?”, she asked.
pondered for a moment, and then shrugged my shoulders. “Darwin got me into this, so I’m going to go
with him. I’m not going to turn down a
chance to get you pregnant by saying it’s one or the other, so sure, you can do
let out an excited squeal, clapping her hands together. I thought for a second that she was going to
start jumping up and down - not that that would be a bad thing, given that her
bosom was part of what had drawn me to her.
smiled broadly asked, “I presume there will be maternity coverage?”
smirked. “I think it'll be necessary, yes.
When do you want to start work?”, I asked.
glanced at the office door and noticed that the only glass in it was frosted.
The camera in the corner was relatively discrete, although she did know it was
there. Her top was already mostly
unbuttoned, but she reached up and undid another button. “I'm actually ovulating today, you know. That’s why I’ve been
wanting to get this settled as soon as possible.”
made a mental note that I'd have to hire a medical consultant to ensure that I
was having sex during ovulation wherever possible, but today was a freebie with
a woman that I'd wanted to bang ever since my very first day on the job.
“In my boss’s office?”, I
asked. I cracked an evil grin and said,
“Hell, I don’t care if you’re not fertile at all, I’ve wanted to do this since
I started here!”
Years worth of office fantasies became a reality
as I got out of my chair and walked over to Frank's futon. My boss had always been prone to overwork,
and he kept a folding futon in his office so that he could sleep overnight when
grinned widely and said, “You too? I’ve
always had a fantasy about breaking in this futon!”
shrugged her way out of her silky, bright white button-up top, and I whistled
in admiration. She revealed herself to
me now without shame, her torso now covered only by a matching bright white
brassiere. Her perky C-cup cleavage
jiggled delicately as she tossed her shirt onto my boss's desk,
just before she reached down to unhook her belt. I looked over at the camera in the corner of
the room with one last-minute consideration of privacy, then
pushed the thought out of my mind with great effort. I couldn't not do this. I was a Ritchie man now; the only sin I could
commit now was not to follow through with my plan. And, as I beheld Julie disrobing herself in
my boss’s office, there was no way I was going to pass this up. I unbuttoned my own shirt, then tossed it
aside and started to pull up my undershirt.
was now down to her bra and a matching white set of silk panties, and she
stepped towards me seductively. “Let me
get that for you, Jim, she said huskily.
raised my arms obligingly as she lifted the shirt up over my head. Just when it was covering my face she slowed, stopping with the shirt just clear of my
lips. Moments later, her breasts were
pressed against my chest and I felt warm lips tentatively touch my own, kissing
me with her mouth open. I opened my own
mouth and explored her mouth with my tongue, committing to the kiss with
intensity. Julie held my arms pinned
with the shirt, not letting me take it off any farther for a few seconds before
she tugged it off over the top of my head, suddenly letting me see again. She gave me a playful grin as she twirled my
shirt around in her hand, then tossed it at my face. The shirt struck my nose dead center and then
fell down, forming a pool of cloth at my feet.
I looked down for a split second to admire it, but then something else
bounced off of my chest. I looked up just in time to see a now-topless
Julie climbing onto the futon and lay down, her two small reddish nipples lined
up like a airport beacons, guiding me in for a landing.
“Well Jim”, she said, “what are you waiting for?”
practically teleported out of my pants, then climbed onto the futon and assumed
a position on all fours above her. She
squirmed beneath me, working her panties down off of
her hips and then kicking them away.
smirked as she looked up at me and said, “You realize,
I could take you to HR over this.”
lowered myself, dropping my penis between her legs. It wasn't particularly aimed, just brushing
on her vulva somewhere. “I seem to
recall that you’ve taken employment with another company”, I murmured.
pecked me on the lips. “I don't actually
recall accepting your offer of employment yet, Jim”, she said.
kissed her back, running my hands up and down her sides. “Hmm.
What will I have to add to make it irresistible?”,
ground her groin against my cock, and I could feel her labia parting around my
shaft. Her pussy was warm and wet, and
she was lubricating my cock just by grinding her pussy lips against it. I could feel her vagina, ready and waiting
for me to enter her. I ground my dick
against her, stiff and ready.
pursed her lips and pretended to be deep in thought. “Well, I suppose you could offer me a
generous compensation package”, she suggested.
shifted my hips and let the head of my penis slide farther down until it just
barely found her vagina, the tip poised for entry. “I think I can offer you a little bit above
the industry standard in that department”, I said as I slid my tip just barely
into her. Julie grinned widely, enjoying
“I think I need to test-drive this package we're talking
about”, she said as she thrust her hips at me.
I felt my first inch or two sink inside her, warm and velvety. I took that as my sign and let go, sliding
into her slowly and filling her with my full depth. Julie inhaled sharply, letting out an intoxicating
sound as the air whistled around her teeth.
thrust inside of her, getting as deep as I could and then stopping. “How do you feel about the package now?”, I asked. I ground
my hips against her, feeling her wetness seep out around my cock as I pressed
insistently within her. Julie was
probably more excited about this than any girl I’d ever been with. Even though - or perhaps actually because -
she was ovulating.
brought her hands up and grabbed my ass, trying to steer me as I slid in and out
of her hot pussy. I broke into a crazy
grin as I did so, realizing that less than 12 hours after posting that fateful
message to Mr. Ritchie, I was in my boss’s office fucking the girl I've
fantasized about for years. I’d whacked
off to her on and off over the years, but never once did I imagine that she’d
not only sleep with me, but try to conceive my baby on
the first date.
last thought actually spurred me on, my cock swelling even more than it already
was. Julie gritted her teeth and ground
her pussy against my cock, her sensitive clitoris touching against my pubic
region. “You're certainly making a
strong case for your offer”, Julie admitted.
“But I think you need to give me a signing bonus.”
kept thrusting within her as I felt her pussy begin to tighten and a familiar
fire began to build up in my groin. She
closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the sensation as she began to breathe
just a little bit faster. “Oh, I’ll give
you your bonus all right”, I gasped.
climax was just beginning. The part of
my brain that still couldn't believe what was happening got that much more
excited as my dream girl squirmed beneath me.
Her breath began coming in ragged gasps as I drove harder, plowing all
the way inside her pussy as she took me inside her. Her gasps were like an audible aphrodisiac;
they stoked the fire of my own orgasm higher and higher until I felt myself
losing the battle to keep my sperm contained.
Julie ground her pussy against me and let out a strangled whimper as the
fire in her pussy spread into a throbbing, pulsating heat as she came. Her pussy squeezed spasmodically, clenching
my cock and milking it, coaxing it into release as I buried myself inside her. I let out an almost startled grunt as I came,
my sperm injecting her fertile pussy with strand after strand of thick, potent cum. Julie pressed
her pussy against me firmly as I came and let out a cry of pleasure, trying
desperately not to let any of it escape as my cock began to shrink, still
pulsating with the pleasure of ejaculation as my heart began to slow back down.
“There's your signing bonus”, I gasped as my breathing
began slowing back down. As soon as I
was done ejaculating, I picked myself up off of her
and scooted off, taking my body’s weight off of her.
chest was still heaving up and down, her breasts shaking as she breathed out
her exhaustion, the sweat creating an amazing sheen in the light in the
office. Her nipples were pointed
straight up at the ceiling, distracting me and making it nearly impossible to
focus on anything else. Julie grabbed
the pillow under her head and stuffed it under her butt, elevating it slightly
to keep as much of my sperm inside of her as possible.
“You're really serious about this, aren't you?”, I observed.
looked over at me and smiled. “About having your first baby? Oh, hell yes!”, she
smiled, then glanced out the window and realized from the darkness outside that
it was already evening. I tossed on my
clothes and asked her, “My compensation package is adequate?”
nodded and shifted on the couch to get a little more comfortable as she waited,
hoping for my sperm to infiltrate her pussy.
I sat down at the desk and fired up my laptop to compose my letter of
resignation, resisting the temptation to end every sentence with the word,
“bitches”. For example, part of me
wanted to open the letter with, “I am writing to formally tender my
resignation, BITCHES!”, and keep that tradition throughout the entire letter. Yes, it’d be horribly immature, but becoming
an instant billionaire wasn’t exactly going to improve matters in that