Chapter One

 

Jogging is a necessary part of my exercise routine. I usually do it in Jameson Park because it runs along the river and has nice trails with overhanging trees to give me shade. I wear an athletic bra because I'm reasonably big upstairs (not giant but big) and I wear a midriff top and shorts to help keep cool.

I'm a fairly attractive girl. I've known that for a very long time.  Everyone told me I was beautiful when I was a little girl. And that changed to sexy when I hit adolescence.

When I was young, Jimmy Jordan told me what he'd done to me the previous night in his shower. I'd never been in his house, let alone his shower, but what he'd done to me had been solely in his mind. It was quite graphic, outrageous and embarrassing, and I suppose he got the reaction from me he was hoping for.

Over the years which followed, though, I came to understand this sort of thing, the fantasy sex part, if not the actual telling the object of that fantasy, was pretty normal among boys. Nor does it much change when they become guys, nor when they become men.

Mentally undressing attractive young women with their eyes and then doing all sorts of nasty things to them – free of all societal constraints, laws and values – seems to be a universal constant among men of all ages.

It was a difficult concept for me to get used to. The idea boys and men I knew might be perfectly polite to my face, and then go home and masturbate to some kind of sick fantasy sex they were having with me was hard to take. I felt like hiding myself in a shroud or a burka like some Muslim women do. Let's see you fantasize about me now, pervert!

At first I tried wearing pretty shapeless clothes. But I came to realize that really didn't matter that much. Not unless I hid my face and hair too, and not being a Muslim I wasn't willing to do that.

I'm not trying to pretend I'm some kind of goddess, by the way. I think there are lots of girls way prettier than me, way sexier, way more sophisticated in the arts of pleasing men. But I'm apparently more than pretty enough to inspire fantasies and masturbation. The guys I've slept with have admitted as much, admitted they had sexual fantasies about me before we even went out together.

They also admitted, under questioning, that there wasn't a single guy they knew who wouldn't get a huge hard-on if they saw me naked, or even half-naked, and that I could have any guy I wanted if I just expressed a little interest in them.

I wound up experimenting a little on this score, partly for ego. I took semi-naked pictures of myself (except for my face) and posted them on some of the picture sites the guys spoke about. There was one in particular where you'd post a picture and people (men) would comment, and I got lots of flattering comments.

That provoked me into ever more graphic pictures, which got even more enthusiastic commentary. And I admit I found the exercise kind of exciting and arousing. The idea that hundreds, and maybe thousands of men and guys were staring at my naked pictures was kind of... an ego trip. And kind of hot. Especially since they couldn't see my face.

It's not every day a girl gets lots of flattering comments from strange men on her breasts, her nipples, her ass and legs and pussy. And being able to get those comments without them knowing who I was robbed them of the embarrassment I would otherwise have felt.

All made me realized that I didn't need to dress especially sexy, any more than I could hide myself in layers of clothes to turn away interest. There really wasn't anything I could do. It would be like trying to hold back the tide.

But it also made me kind of cocky, and maybe a bit arrogant about my looks and the sexual power I held over men. It also gave me a bit of a high, a bit of a rush when some guy walked into a lamppost because he was staring at me or something like that.

I mean, the idea guys would get all excited just at merely imagining what I looked like naked and imagining being able to touch me and have sex with me was kind of a dark thrill. It made me feel important and sexy.

Thus the exercise.

I took for granted guys would look at me as I jogged past, my ponytail bobbing behind me. I have a nice ass and I don't try to hide it very much. Though to be honest I'm more proud of my flat, firm stomach.

And so Thor became my jogging companion. Thor is the only male aside from a few relatives, who didn't think I was hot and didn't fantasize about doing me up against a wall or something. He's a German Shepherd, and his presence discourages guys from bothering me as I jog.

Not that I really feared violence. What's annoying is guys calling out their opinions about my body as I passed, or worse, jogging alongside me and trying to get my name and phone number. Thor doesn't do a lot about the former but he's pretty good at eliminating the latter.

That lets me just jog on and ignore the cat-calls, especially since I have my earbuds in my ears. Dealing with polite, hopeful guys is way harder than just ignoring the rude pricks who yell out something like “Nice tits, baby!” as I run past.

Anyway, my looks are an important part of who I am so I have to jog, have to exercise, to keep in top shape. I would have preferred it for people to respect me for something other than my looks, but just then I didn't have an awful lot of accomplishments behind me.

One of the reasons I'd taken those pictures and put them online was to reassure myself. I mean, okay, imagining was one thing, but what happened when they saw the real me? Their reaction to my body gave me that reassurance that guys actually seeing me weren't going to be disappointed.

But what then? I mean, if I was going to be this hot, sexy, much sought-after girl, I had better be good in bed once they persuaded me into it. I had to live up to my reputation! So I tried to figure out what a really good lover would be like, aside from sexy looking, and the place to figure that out was, of course, the internet.

I watched internet porn, specifically to see what a sexy girl was supposed to be doing when having sex with guys. And that wasn't easy, because in most of them all she seemed to be doing was just moaning and groaning.

I was, however, able to find videos on how to give really good blow jobs, and how to pose your body when naked, and how to move while having sex, including how to squeeze down on your vaginal muscles as a guy pulled back, then release as he pushed forward.

How to give a guy a handjob was also a fascinating topic because it gave me something to do sexually that wasn't as far along as actually sucking a guy's cock.

You might say all this need to be really good at sex came from a lack of confidence in myself, from a feeling that I didn't dare fail to measure up in all things. What did I have going for me except for my looks, after all, my hotness? My sexual power?

Do you know how hard it can be to learn how to properly suck a guy's cock? I mean, much of it is fairly easy, where and how hard and how fast to lick, to kiss, to suck. How to work your tongue along the underside of the head, and what to do with your lips and hands.

The hard part, no pun intended, was learning how to deep throat. In all that I saw and read, that was considered to be the height of sexual prowess and expertise. I saw videos of girls who did it with what seemed like effortless ease, while others kept coughing and gagging.

I wanted to be the best, so that my abilities would be admired, so that meant mastering my gag reflex. I read a lot about that, and the best advice seemed to be that the more aroused you were when doing it, the easier it was to do.

Now since I didn't want to practice on a real guy – throwing up on him being kind of a downer to the mood – I had to get a dildo to try it out. I didn't think the one I usually used would do. I wanted this to be as realistic as possible.

My bedroom has an attached bathroom, and I decided that it was the best place to practice. What I did was to attach my usual dildo – which has a vibrator function, to the side of the stone bench in my shower. Then I attached the new one to the wall in front of it. This would put my head back and give the dildo a straight line down my throat.

That put me naked and on all fours. I lubricated the dildo behind me and then rubbed myself against it, trying to get in the mood. I let fantasies roll through my mind, too, mostly videos I had seen, but with me substituted for the actress. I slowly eased my pussy back onto the dildo, which was thick and long, feeling the heat rising inside me despite the tension about what I was about to do.

I slid back further and further, then began to fuck myself slowly as it buzzed and vibrated. I let my mind roll the most exciting and sexy fantasy videos I had in my mind and imagined myself like this between two men. Yes, two! At once! That was a pretty kinky idea to me then.

I slid my lips over the super realistic looking cock, sucking and licking, playing the role in my mind of the girl fucking two guys at once. I slid my lips further and further down the cock. I let the head slide to the back of my mouth, moaning around it, and reached back with one hand, rubbing my clitoris with my fingers.

Fortunately, all my awareness about what a sex object I was, and how much an object of lust I was, had kind of given me a strong interest in sex. I was fascinated with the subject, and frustrated at how little I could actually do to experiment more.

Yes, yes, I could have simply recruited guys to do anything I wanted to. But that would have absolutely trashed my reputation. Not to mention they might be dangerous. I might be fascinated with sexual experimenting but I was still subject to the social constraints that said good girls didn't do such things.

The look and feel of the cock was so real! My lips slid back and forth along the shaft as I rolled my hips in and out. The heat began to build up through my body, my nipples tingling, my breasts feeling swollen and hot. My pussy thrummed with heat as it slid back and forth on the dildo.

Now I was in the shower because having seen a number of videos I had feared that I'd drool like crazy, or worse, throw up. That was what made me anxious. I figured it would take me a number of efforts before I could succeed – IF – I succeeded at all. I mean, clearly, since even most porn actresses didn't do it, it wasn't easy.

I had braced myself to fight my way through the gagging and choking and stuff that was certain to come up (no pun intended)

As the head of the cock pushed deeper into my mouth and neared my throat I felt my tension rising. But I knew I had all the time in the world. I could continue to ride my dildo and rub my clitoris, building the heat up inside myself to make it easier.

My lips slid up and down, up and down the shaft, going a bit deeper each time, until finally it went too deep and I gagged. I pulled back immediately, of course. The gagging did produce saliva, and made my eyes water a little. But it wasn't a heavy gagging. I mean, I had pulled back quickly.

I also was doing this in the morning, and had not had anything to eat or drink since last night.

I eased forward again, rubbing my clitoris, moaning, heat rolling around me. I had decided to ride my lips up and down a little longer before trying again.

And then... it just happened. I slid my lips forward, and in an instant I felt the urge to just do it, just try it, to not just ease forward but push forward firmly. Just do it! This thought didn't have any words to it. It took a split second between the thought arising and my following through because I was already almost all the way down.

The head of the cock entered my throat. It didn't just dip in. It firmly pushed into my throat, several inches deep before I was really even aware of what I was doing. I mean, the thought had been almost pure instinct. And now I felt myself starting to gag, but... as I jerked my hand out from between my legs I leaned forward, which slid my throat even deeper on the cock!

I tried to swallow, the way the videos and advise said. Swallow! Swallow! Tell yourself you're swallowing meat or something! And I was able to stand it! I was able to just kneel there with this dildo halfway down my throat, not choking, not really gagging very much!

I felt... elated! Amazed at myself! And with that I eased further forward rather than back, gagging a bit, gurgling as the head pushed deeper into my throat.

I had gotten this dildo because it was very realistic, but it was also long but narrow. And, in fact, I had already ordered another one. Bigger, thicker. I had marveled at how real it looked and felt when it had arrived, and wanted one for my pussy, not just my throat!

Now I slid my lips all the way down to the balls where they were pressed against the wall!

I had done it! I had done it so easily! I was elated again!. I knelt there, trembling, moaning, heart-pounding, not really able to breathe but reluctant to slide back.

Then, of course, I had to. Sliding back was, in some ways, harder. It felt... weird! I'm not used to stuff sliding up my throat!

It popped out of my throat and I coughed and gasped for breath. But knowing I'd done it made me feel super sexy and accomplished so that I knew I would be able to do it again. It relieved some of my anxiety.

After catching my breath, I did it again, and again and again. I learned to breathe by relaxing my throat, just like the advice I'd read. I became adept enough to start licking at the thing and working my lips at it. I got so good that I simply turned around and slid my pussy onto that one, then took my own thicker one down my throat.

That was a little harder, but I was full of confidence by then.

Eventually, I came while deep throating it, gasping and grunting and moaning, riding my pussy back and forth on one dildo as I swallowed another!

I practiced several more times before I decided to do it with a real guy. I basically owned him. His name was Declan, and he was a fuck-buddy. I told him I wanted to practice my oral sex on him. You probably won't be surprised he agreed.

I really took my time. I had him lay naked on his bed and then I did my best to imitate the sexiest blow-jobs I had seen, licking at his thighs, kissing his balls, working up to it, you know? I licked up and down the length of his erection, then mouthed his balls, sucking them into my mouth, licking them with my tongue.

I finally worked my lips over the head of his cock and started bobbing up and down. Unfortunately, once I started humming he lost it and exploded into my mouth. That was frustrating! Here he was praising me on how incredible I was at oral sex and I hadn't even gotten to the point I wanted!

I had to work him back up again, getting him hard, then take him into my mouth. This time I didn't hum. I bobbed up and down, licking and sucking, then took him deep into my throat. That shocked him, and he came again.

Getting him hard a third time wasn't easy, but I succeeded, then was able to deep throat him a number of times and do other things with his cock, like rubbing it over my face, and humming, and taking him between my breasts.

So this is how I learned to be good enough at sex to live up to my own self-image as this hot, sexy girl that was very much desired by the guys I knew. I got a reputation, not so much as a slut, because I was still careful about not having sex with a ton of guys, but as someone really, really good in bed.

That was, at times good, and also bad. Because some people still equated that with being a slut. How did you get that good if not through lots and lots of practice, huh? I was still fighting to keep a good reputation, wanting to be seen as a 'good girl', as ordinary, as respectable and not some cheap whore.

Anyway, I finished my jog and got home, gave Thor some fresh water, then went upstairs and took a shower.

I try not to be egotistical about my looks, but given the attitude of guys, not to mention those on the internet, I did feel kind of arrogant and proud as I looked in the mirror. Toned, firm, with nice full breasts and a pretty face topped by soft brown hair which fell halfway down my back.

It was impossible to not see myself and feel a bit smug about how the guys' tongues would be hanging out if they could see me. And I have to admit I liked that, liked being hot and sexy and thus popular.

Who wouldn't!?

I've taken a lot of pictures of myself. The cute/hot ones I've posted to social media. The naked ones, without my face, to that amateur porn site. The really nasty ones, of course, no one has seen but me. Some were so nasty I just took them so I could see them on my monitor, then deleted them.

That goes for the videos too. They were just too dangerous for me to keep around in case I lost the phone or it got hacked, or my computer got hacked. I didn't even dare keep them around on a flash drive or something offline, in case someone found it. My reputation is important to me!

I arched my back for the mirror, sliding my fingers through my hair, giving myself a sexy look in the mirror as I slid my tongue along my lower lip. Yes, I'm sexy, I thought with no small private enjoyment.

I cupped my breasts and squeezed them, then considered taking another picture and posting it to the amateur site. I like getting praise. Let's face it.

And that gave me a thought which tightened my chest and made me a little breathless. What about doing a video and posting it! Aaagh! That would be so... so... hot!

As soon as that feeling, that rush of sexual energy and excitement swept through me, I knew I had to do it. I went out and got my dildo, the newest, super realistic one, the one I'd bought after deep throating its smaller version. I got my phone, along with the little tripod stand.

I closed the bathroom door, then attached the stand to the phone and put it on the floor. Then I slapped the dildo on the floor so the suction cup would lock it in place. I got a little lubrication cream and squatted down, rubbing it up and down over the head and upper shaft.

I squatted over the thing, then reached over and took a picture. Then I slid down to the floor behind the dildo, so it slid up along my abdomen and took another picture.

I scrambled around onto my hands and knees behind the camera and tripod and dropped my chest almost to the floor so I could check what the camera had seen without moving the tripod. I needed to make sure it didn't get anything above the neck in the frame!

It looked just about right. I adjusted the camera a bit, then tried again. When I checked a second time it looked like I was right on.

I squatted over the dildo and then lowered myself, feeling a jolt as the head made contact with my pussy. I gripped the head and then kind of rubbed my naked pussy back and forth against it. My other hand was cupping and squeezing my breast as I stared at myself in the mirror, imagining what the video would be showing and how guys would masturbate to it!